Please Stand By
Hey everybody, all of our servers and computer things are all fucked up and broken, because we only feature top-notch technology here at Wonkette. While our technicians "fix" the "problem," we're planning on moving to a new technology that better serves you, the reader. Please let us know which of these options works best for you:
* GeoCities home page: Share fun pictures and jokes with friends and family! Also: Clinton body count.
* America Online politics channel: You've got mail! Visit our popular Wonkette political section with multi-media sounds. Now with Newt Gingrich's Cyber Corner.
* alt.rubyridge: Subscribe to Wonkette's cutting-edge discussion "news group" and read hundreds of text messages each day about the New World Order.
* Dot-Matrix Poster: Fun for parties! Each 5-1/4 floppy contains three "Wonkette" political banners you can print out on your dot-matrix home computer printer -- GO DUKAKIS, OPERATION DESERT STORM and ONE FOR THE GIPPER.
* Chain letter: Mail five copies of Wonkette's Monthly Briefing to your friends, or Hamilton Jordan will visit your house!
* Wacky double-entendre postcards: Let's hope J. Edgar Hoover doesn't see these naughty novelties going through our nation's mail! One design: WATCH OUT, MELBA! I WENT TO CHESAPEAKE BAY AND I'M COMING HOME WITH THE CRABS!
* Western Union "Wonkette-a-grams"(tm): FDR 4-TERM OUTRAGE. STOP. NEW DEAL NO GOOD? STOP.
* Carrier Pigeons.