Please Stop Trying To Poison John Boehner, It Is Very Very Rude


A country club bartender was indicted forthreatening to poison and/or shoot and/or spear while garroting and drowning (yeah, we saw Lethal Weapon 4) the great and powerful Speaker of the House, John Boehner. Let's not do that, guys! Let's not poison or shoot or spear while garroting and drowning John Boehner, it is Rude. It is also rude to make fun of John Boehner's endless tears of alcoholism and his pickled liver, which the preceding link did before it was updated to stop doing that, so don't do that either hahahaha of course you're going to. John Boehner's pickled liver is the only thing we have in common, and is a liver we mock affectionately, knowing it is only a matter of decades before we're having pickled livers with fava beans and a nice chianti in our own distended thoraxes, maybe, if that is where livers actually go (unsure).

Anyway, please do not threaten the life of the Speaker of the House, or anyone else, is the point of this post, EXCEPT! There is another point of this post, and that point is, what is up with all the Fifth Column assassin/antipatriot/America-hating country club bartenders lately? First you had that country club bartender fink out Mitt Romney's totally unremarkable "half of America is a loser that loses" remarks to Mother Jones, and now you have this guy. WHAT IS IT about pouring steady, sparkling streams of Johnny Walker Blue for Ann Romney's horse that turns these guys into al Qaeda times ISIS plus Barack Hussein Obama? Oh right, we just answered: It is pouring steady, sparkling streams of Johnny Walker Blue for Ann Romney's horse.

Also, Michael Robert Hoyt was not taking his anti-psychotic meds and

claimed to be Jesus Christ and said he targeted Boehner because the Speaker was mean to him at the country club and is responsible for Ebola.

So, you know, :(


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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