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Poison Baby Medicine, Terror In Times Square, and the World's Worst Oil Spill

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  • Got babies, somehow? Then you've probably got a half-dozen plastic bottles of Kiddie Motrin and Wee-One's Tylenol and Lil' Benadryl and maybe even "Children's Sugar-Free Zyrtec" in the medicine cabinet. DO NOT USE IT, there is something very vaguely wrong with all of it, go to the website and follow the confusing instructions to get gift certificates for even more sketchy kids' medicine. But what to do if your youngling has the Fever? The generics are safe. Ha ha, and they cost about half as much. [McNeil Product Recall/Washington Post]
  • The heroes of Saturday's smoldering-car-of-failure Times Square bomb scare were the street vendors of New York City. Vietnam vet Lance Orton was the first -- or was he??? -- to alert cops of the smoking SUV left in the tourist zone, but he learned to hate the sleazy media years ago so he wasn't in the mood for questions. Oh and the fertilizer in the fail-bomb was "non-explosive" so wouldn't have actually blown up. [New York Times/Reuters]
  • Have you heard of the Gulf Stream? Yeah, that's what's going to bring the World's Worst Oil Spill to, uh, New England. And then Old England, we guess. BP needs to give this hellmouth an Icelandic name. [Associated Press]
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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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