- On Christmas, four DC cops were videotaped stealing from Toys for Tots. Dick Cheney will subpoena this video and masturbate to it until Valentine's Day. [DC Examiner]
- Former Post executive editor Len Downie writes smutty fan-fiction about Ben Bradlee, our nation's first lady. [Washingtonian]
- The Washington Post and the Baltimore Sun will now share stories, but only those about "certain Maryland news" (traffic on the Beltways?) and sports. [Fishbowl DC]
- Barry's face will now grace Metro farecards, just like an actual fascist dictatorship. [WTOP]
- The cause of Bethesda's terrible Biblical flood is still a mystery, but a sublime mystery. [Washington Post]
