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Political World Somehow Shocked To Hear Rick Santorum Rant About Satan

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Did you know that Rick Santorum is avery Christian person? He'd always come across to us like a publicly secular, church on Easter and Christmas only kinda guy who doesn't really "buy into all that stuff." But nope, he's Christian as the dickens, and he sees everything as a struggle between God and Satan. American voters finally learned all of this yesterday when Matt Drudge published a 2008 speech of Santorum's describing Satan's attack on America. We now have to consider the possibility: Could it be that Rick Santorum is something of a religious nut?


This story, of Santorum's Satan speech, would have just been lumped in with all the other sorta-funny Santorum crazy quotes that rise to the top of the Internet a few or ten times a day, but Matt Drudge happened to leave it up as his main story for many hours, so political editors decided that it must be very important. Yes, it's sad but true, that editors of major political outlets still look to the goddamn Drudge Report for their story assignments all goddamn day, just as they did in 1999. (And then they get to write cutesy meta substories, like "Drudge Forging An Alliance With Romney?", "Drudge: A Timeline of Fuckin' Shit Up," etc. He's a big deal, with his linking website!)

Anyway, here's the Santorum SECRET SATAN SPEECH that sounds like every other speech he's ever given in his life:

“While we all see all this as a great political conflict in warfare between the Obama camp and the McCain camp and culture wars, what Bishop Aquila put his finger on and what I think, I suspect those of you who are here understand, this is not a political war at all. This is not a cultural war. This is a spiritual war."

“And the Father of Lies has his sights on what you would think the Father of Lies would have his sights on: a good, decent, powerful, influential country, the United States of America. If you were Satan, who would you attack in this day and age? There is no one else to go after other than the United States and that has been the case now for almost 200 years, once America’s preeminence was sown by our great Founding Fathers.”

Some are now wondering if Rick Santorum will "apologize." To whom and for what? You either laugh and think he's a nut or you speak his same Biblical language and enjoy it. It's a strange choice of outrage for today's Outrage of the Day. Sorta funny, though.

[CNN]

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