White House Press Briefing, HOW ABOUT THAT!

Sounds fine to us!

They're all back in America this week, so we guess we're back to regular press briefings!

Watch with Wonkette:

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Right Wing Extremism

Florida, Texas Nation’s Biggest Producers Of Alleged Capitol Attackers!

Let’s be polite and pretend we’re surprised.

Florida and Texas are currently tied for the most residents facing charges related to the January 6 assault on the Capitol. The score stands at 47 arrests from each state out of the 484 nationwide total, according to the USA Today database. (Business Insider has recorded 521 arrests so far.)

Texas and Florida are the second and third most populous states respectively, but they still disproportionately contributed to the MAGA mob: For instance, Floridians account for 6.6 percent of the nation's population but 9.7 percent of alleged January 6 insurrectionists. Texas boasts 8.7 percent of the US population, which is still less than its percentage of accused Capitol rioters. Just 29 people have been arrested in California, which is significantly larger than both states. New York, whose “values" Texas GOP Senator Ted Cruz once smeared, has had 35 arrests, despite its close proximity to Washington, DC.

Florida Democratic Rep. Charlie Crist, who's running for governor, called his state's arrest total “stunning." He's requesting that GOP Governor Ron DeSantis create a bipartisan commission to investigate the state's links to the January 6 attack, not so much for finger-wagging but as a matter of "public safety." DeSantis is obviously too busy abusing the First Amendment and transgender children to bother addressing domestic terrorism. His press secretary, Christina Pushaw, dismissed Crist's request as "raw political opportunism."

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America Proudly Number One In Not Reaching Vaccination Goals

Republicans not helping because when do they ever?

President Joe Biden set two ambitious targets in May: Fully vaccinating 160 million American adults and giving at least one shot to 70 percent of adults by July 4. We're on pace to miss both goals, because apparently Americans' collective stupidity exceeds their survival instincts.

According to data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as of last Wednesday, about 65 percent of adults are at least partially vaccinated from COVID-19. This means about 13.6 million would have to receive their first shot within the next 18 days to reach the desired 70 percent figure. That's an average of roughly 756,000 new vaccinations each day, and the US is averaging less just 336,000 newly vaccinated adults per day over the past week. It's like in college when you were behind in the assigned reading but convinced yourself you could somehow catch up if you buckled down and read something like 500 pages a day until the finals. That never panned out.

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Post-Racial America

Holiday Celebrating End Of Slavery Very Divisive, Say Assholes

For some reason, who knows?

Yesterday, June 17, was a pretty momentous day. Joe Biden signed the Juneteenth national holiday into law, and so now we have a federal holiday marking the end of slavery, which is a pretty big deal. Among those in the White House for the signing was Opal Lee, 94, who headed the effort to make the holiday not just a Texas thing, but a national holiday, even walking from Fort Worth to Washington in 2016, when she was nearly 90, to publicize the cause.

It's a really happy occasion, so of course the White Grievance crowd had a problem with it. So let's take a look at some of the less enlightened responses to America's newest national celebration, before we consign them to the ash heap of history. We promise to close with happy stuff!

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