'When I Can, I Tell The Truth.' Wonkagenda for Thurs., Nov. 1, 2018
Trump will build his wall with soldiers, there's a new "Willie Horton ad," and more post-Halloween horrors. Your morning news brief.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Beto O'Rourke Talks To People Of Color Like We Are Actual Voters Who Exist
Not sure that's even legal, chief.
Completely objective conservatives might dismissively proclaim "Beto-mania" is a "joke" (that's an actual headline), but the barbecue tofu-eating hippies might still have the last laugh yet in the intensely covered Texas Senate race. Young voter turnout is up more than 500 percent from 2014, and black and Hispanic voting rates have more than doubled. True, we don't know if they're all coming out in record numbers to vote for Beto O'Rourke, but no one's that exited to support Ted Cruz, right? Heidi probably even had to set a day-of reminder for their own wedding.
No matter what happens next Tuesday, O'Rourke ran as an unapologetic liberal Democrat deep in the red heart of Texas. He said without hesitation that he wouldn't have voted to confirm Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. You'll recall that West Virginia Democrat Joe Manchin was a weaselly "yes." He also opposes ending birthright citizenship, even if it costs him some votes from the Dallas suburbanites FOX News frightens daily with rhetoric about an "invading army." Indiana Democrat Joe Donnelly has already caved and said he's "open" to Donald Trump's ridiculous proposal, pending discussions of "constitutionality." Hint Joe Donnelly, it's fucking not.
This week, O'Rourke published an op-ed blasting Cruz's awful record on health care, and unlike pretty much everything Cruz says, O'Rourke's nouns, verbs, and occasional adjectives were based in fact.
Republicans STARTING To Get Antsy About Nazi Steve King In Their Congress
Iowans, please vote this clown out. The Republicans sure won't.
Happy Halloween, boys and ghouls! If you happen to see Steve King in a white sheet tonight, well, it's probably not a costume but just another Wednesday for the notoriously racist Iowa congressman. He's not even subtle about it. The guy had a Confederate flag displayed on his desk for a while, and Iowa was a Union state. You wouldn't catch Peter King of New York with a Red Sox banner in his office.
King's white supremacist beliefs are a fairly open secret, like Liberace's sexual preferences in the 1980s. He even appeared on an MSNBC panel a couple years ago, which he had to know was televised because of all the cameras, and claimed no other "sub-group of people" ever contributed anything to society that matched what white people had achieved with minor assistance from slave labor.
Last year, King tweeted that you "can't restore our civilization with someone else's babies." Republicans collectively shouted, "Yikes! Not out loud!" and House Speaker Paul Ryan, always a profile in moral courage, responded that he just assumed King "misspoke." King then went on TV and misspoke some more. Mr. King, if you're going to accuse my people of peeing in America's gene pool, at least do me the courtesy of wearing a tie.
Steve King Fighting To Save His Cantaloupes, And More Poll Fun!
That poor man. Just kidding LOL.
With a week to go before the midterms, we have polls raining down on us like ping pong balls on the set of "Captain Kangaroo," or boiled rabbits at a midnight showing of Fatal Attraction. More polls than an alligator-owning pot dealer's girlfriend would know what to do with, is what we're saying.
And best of all is a poll showing white nationalist ugly bag of mostly melon Steve King ahead of his Democratic challenger, J.D. Scholten, by just a single percentage point in the race for the 4th Congressional District in Iowa. it was enough of a change that the Cook Political Report revised its prediction from "Likely R" to "Lean R," although of course Scholten will still have to overcome a huge Republican registration advantage in the district.
As Wonkette alum Jim Newell notes at Slate, this is the closest anyone's come to taking down King, whose district went to Trump by 27 points in 2016. And people finally seem to be getting tired of King's White Power Ranger shtick, even though King still thinks tweets like this one are HILARIOUS:
'It's Just Not Presidential!' Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 26, 2018
Trump cries about his bombs, we may close the borders, and Steve Bannon's stump slump. Your morning new brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Brian Kemp Will Ride Those Typos All The Way To The Georgia Governor's Mansion
He's protecting the sanctity of the ballot, dontcha know!
Cartoon villain Brian Kemp has a dream. A dream that one day all Georgians will be free of evil, government healthcare, free to die in the street from preventable diseases as Uncle Sam and White Jesus intended. And if the good people of Georgia will just elect him governor, then he'll make that dream a reality. But if they won't, he'll kick enough of them off the voter rolls that he wins anyway. It's good to be Secretary of State!
Last night in Atlanta, Kemp debated badass Democrat, civll rights lawyer, former minority leader of the Georgia House, and all-around mensch Stacey Abrams. Kemp is determined to "protect the integrity of our elections and ensure that only legal citizens cast a ballot," and if he has to disenfranchise a hundred thousand minority voters along the way, so much the better. If 70 percent of the 53,000 voter registrations purged under Georgia's "exact match" law happen to be minorities, Kemp knows it's because Democrats "did not adequately train canvassers to ensure legible, complete forms." And if, as CNN reports, Gwinnett County rejects "15% of absentee ballots submitted by Asian Americans, 11.4% of those submitted by African Americans and only 4% of those submitted by whites," then Brian Kemp knows who to blame, and it is ... Barack Obama!
That train is never late!
Scummy Push Pollsters PINKY-SWEAR Republican Goon Squad Will Win Florida
Must be why Ron DeSantis cancelled all his interviews after his AWESOME debate!
Republicans are KILLIN' IT in Florida, you guys! No worries about election day, Gators. It's all smooooooth sailing for the Sunshine State GOP. Just take it from Governor Rick Scott's lead pollster Wes Anderson, who produced a whimsical, unskewed poll for the campaign, featuring nostalgic jams about high Republican turnout in those good old days, telling the Tampa Bay Times,
As the linked slides indicate, Governor Scott currently leads Senator Nelson 51% to 46%, a lead that is outside of the margin of error.
It should also be noted that this sample from last week is very robust at 2,200 interviews of likely voters, stratified by county to reflect historic mid-term turnout. Our sample shows the Republicans with a one-point turnout advantage, even though we believe we will end up with a two- or three-point advantage. For historical context, in the past two mid-term elections Republicans had a four-point advantage in 2010 and a three-point advantage in 2014. At R+1, that makes our current sample a very conservative take on the likely partisan composition of this year's electorate.
NEEDZ MOAR BILL MURRAY.
No other pollster has replicated those numbers, with SurveyUSA, Quinnipiac, and CNN/SSRS all finding Bill Nelson in the lead, but if OnMessage, Inc. says Scott is running way ahead, then it must be true! Only OnMessage promises to "take your principles, your experience, and your opponent's weaknesses to develop a winning message plan that the voters will embrace." And who wouldn't trust a push pollster, right?
Andrew Gillum Keeps Murdering Ron DeSantis In Florida Gov Debate After He's Already Dead
If you're in Florida, VOTE! (Right, and everywhere else too.)
I haven't put much stock in the outcome of political debates ever since Hillary Clinton curb-stomped Donald Trump in all three presidential ones, and she still somehow lost. Trump just flung feces on the stage for a couple hours, and the punditry criticized Clinton for having crap on her pantsuit. But Florida's gubernatorial debate last night offered renewed hope as Democrat Andrew Gillum conducted a public autopsy on Republican Ron DeSantis: "I will now make the Y incision and extract the large mass of bullshit that has metastasized near his lungs."
DeSantis came out swinging during his opening remarks. A new CNN poll had him trailing Gillum by double digits (don't believe the hype, just vote), so he was on the defensive and sought to reshape the race by hitching his racist wagon to Trump's blatant lies about Gillum's record as mayor of Tallahassee, which Trump has called "one of the worst and most corrupt" cities in the country. This is a bold claim about a city that was never the setting for a single "Law & Order," "CSI," or "Criminal Minds" series. It is also mostly untrue. However, DeSantis, speaking in liar with English subtitles, still tried to convince voters that Gillum would turn Florida into the "black mall" that white people stopped going to out of fear.
GOOD MORNING MONTANA. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 19, 2018
Trump tries to change the story, Zinke gets caught grifting, and Nikki Haley's got jokes. Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Dave Brat Whines To Prisoners About His Struggles, Or 'Kampf'
We're all living in The Onion now.
RULE NUMBER 1: Republicans are always, always, always the victims. Even in a room full of incarcerated addicts wondering how to put their lives back together, the real victim is actually the liver-lipped Republican congressman in the plaid sport jacket. Because he has to go back on the campaign trail, which is OMG soooooooo haaaaard.
No, seriously. Dave Brat just told a female inmate worried about how to take care of her family when she is paroled, that he has a lot of shit to deal with, too, because, "I've got $5 million worth of negative ads coming at me. How do you think I'm feeling?"
Who You Gonna Call? Dr. Bonesaw! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Oct. 18, 2018
Mike Pompeo didn't discuss 'the facts,' Rod Rosenstein brushes off the haters, and Facebook fucks up (again). Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
'I'm Not A Baby!' Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 15, 2018
Trump cries he isn't a baby, Elizabeth Warren has DNA evidence, and NYTimes seeks Kanye-Republicans. Your morning news brief.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
What Could It Cost, Michael? Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 12, 2018
Turkey says it recorded Khashoggi's murder, the markets are tumbling, and we're still ignoring Kanye. Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
Looks Like GOP Blew Brett Kavanaugh's Wad A Few Weeks Early
What a problem that is entirely of their own creation!
First of all, right here at the outset, and 27 days before the midterm elections, we should say that polls are starting to go a bit haywire, and we're hearing all different things about all different things. (Beto's up! Beto's down! Beto has an adorable ass, according to the poll we just took of ourself! See? There's variance.) But we are definitely starting to learn what America has been thinking in the wake of Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court, and also during the maniac few days just before that happened, when Susan Collins was going back and forth on how long she wanted to wait to fail America yet again.
A new CNN poll was taken from October 4 (Thursday) to October 7 (Sunday) and, well ... how do we say ... OK let's just say the GOP jizzed all over itself about three weeks too early, and if there's going to be a Brett Kavanaugh "bump," it's probably just the new Supreme Court justice "boofing" again. (Which means putting drugs into your butt! Drugs like cocaine! And people do a "bump" of cocaine! GET IT? WE MEAN BRETT KAVANAUGH IS DOING A "BUMP" IN HIS HIND QUARTERS! ALLEGEDLY!)
'An Angry Mob.' Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 9, 2018
We're all a bunch of angry sodomites, Trump greenlights greenhouse gasses, and Google won't make killer robots. Your morning news brief!
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
As The World Burns. Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 8, 2018
There's many newses that have nothing to do with Rapey McPrivilege.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
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