Who Wants A Politico Puff Piece On Hope Hicks? WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

This is just what we need right now.

Hope Hicks returned to the White House in February as a “counselor to the president." It's not been a roaring success. Hicks slinked back from California shortly after Donald Trump skated on impeachment charges, which might turn out to have been the high point of Trump's last -- we hope -- year in office. She now reports to Jared Kushner, whose brain trust has only bungled everything it's touched regarding the COVID-19 response.

Politico reports that Hicks “urged the president to act as a frontman for the coronavirus crisis," and unless the coronavirus crisis is a thrash metal band, that was an incredibly stupid idea. She believed the president, who let's not forget is Donald Trump, "could offer calming messages, critical health information and important updates on the progress of the White House's response efforts." Is she trying to undermine him? Trump was better off just letting Dr. Anthony Fauci speak while nodding sagely in the distance or repeating whatever Dr. Deborah Birx said as if it was his own idea. Men have done this to women at business meetings for decades. Instead, the president's pitching Trump Brand COVID-19 Bleach Away.

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'It's Fine If You Die' Miiiight Not Be Best Trump Campaign Slogan

Trump is losing the Olds in a biiiiiiiiiiig way in the time of coronavirus. And we don't just mean he's killing them.

Texas GOP Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick doubled down this week on his previous amoral comments about how senior citizens should totally be willing to die to resurrect Donald Trump's beautiful biggie large huge economy. This time he said it even more succinctly: There are "more important things than living." Take THAT, Nana and her bingo friends! Why don't you stop your whining — and your coughing, we need the ventilators for the young people — and maybe just stop living so much all the time?

Donald Trump hasn't said words like that out loud, because he's too busy giving himself grundle squeezes on TV about what a good job he's doing, while COVID-19 has playtime in seemingly every nursing, retirement and assisted living facility in the country. The message is pretty clear, though. Donald Trump doesn't care about anything but himself, and America's senior citizens — the most reliable voters in the country, who usually tilt way Republican — are not "himself," so fuck 'em.

And it sounds like they've heard the message. New polling shows that Trump's fortunes with America's olds have shrunk so much you can drown them in the bathtub.

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SC Senator Tim Scott Thinks Donald Trump Is Psychic Now

Can we just have one respectable senator from South Carolina?

Last week, Tim Scott, the least repulsive but still bad United States senator from South Carolina, joined Donald Trump's half-assed "Opening Up America Again" task force, a group that includes every Republican senator except for Mitt Romney. Scott seems pleased with this dubious honor.

During an interview with Neil Cavuto the other day, Scott emphasized the need for people to “get back to work," specifically hospitals. It seems like they're pretty damn busy but Scott claims he's spoken with hospital CEOs across South Carolina who say what they really need more than the funding Democrats won't shut up about is the ability to start performing elective surgeries again. That's where the big money is.

Cavuto asked Scott if he thought it was “inevitable" that we'd see a spike in COVID cases if we “open things up, no matter how carefully" it happens. Scott agreed but said the question was really about “individual responsibility." Yeah, he'll drizzle some Republican talking points on anything, no matter how inappropriate. It's like ketchup on a hot dog.

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