Poor George Zimmerman's Wife Just Cannot Catch A Break

First George Zimmerman's wife -- uh, let's see here, Shellie N. Zimmerman, 25 -- marries George Zimmerman, who may, just may, be some sort of hyper-aggressive, rage-anoidal homicidal maniac. Then she has to go into hiding for a long time because the New Black Panther Party pretty much wants to murder everyone George Zimmerman has ever metjust because he accidentally or something murdered a little boy. And THEN she goes to JAIL!

Will Shellie N. Zimmerman, 25, wife of the NRA's favorite martyr, ever catch a break? No. She will not. Some people are just born under the kind of unlucky star that makes them lie under oath (ALLEGEDLY!) about whether or not they've got $135 large sewn into the lining of their Members Only jackets.

Shellie N. Zimmerman, 25, is out on bail. [CNN]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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