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Porn Stars, Weiners, Obama Says War Powers Act Doesn't Apply To Him

News

Anything good on the news innerwebs tonight? No? Not at all?


The "news topic header" is Porn Star, c'mon, that's something. Oh, that's just what most American Top News Stories are about? Hmm.

What about the Libya War, surely some voice of reason will somehow manage to say that it's insane to be having how many wars right now, everywhere, and losing ALL OF THEM, KATIE, all of them? Well if you say that, Barack Obama will just say that whatever War Law doesn't apply in this situation. And he's right! Nothing rational or logical or legal applies at all in a Nation of Fat Slobs Reading About Porn Stars and Weiners Because There's No Point In Checking The Internet For Job Listings Ever Again. [Google News, yeesh]

Oh and here is John Edwards' mugshot:

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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