Pornhub About To Provide An Even Greater Public Service Than It Already Is

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Used to be a man (or a lady!) could watch some tentacle porn in peace, not having to worry about how it might affect the planet at large. But now, thanks to the hippies at Pornhub, we're all expected to act locally and wank globally. Pornhub, a website that is exactly what it says it is, has announced an exciting Arbor Day initiative that will transform your base, sinful urges into pure, sweet oxygen.


According to the (SFW) website for Pornhub’s campaign, in the week following Arbor Day on April 25, Pornhub is donating one tree for every 100 videos watched in its “big dick” category. “While you’re watching some nice pieces of ash, you’ll also be helping spruce America up! (Bushes are optional),” the website says.

Oh ho ho, Pornhub, with your saucy sense of humor! Still though, trees, wood, engorged sexual organs, we get the connection here, very clever Pornhub.

Alas, the joke doesn't really work if you don't say the words "Big Dick" (snicker). That's unfortunate, because Time's write-up of the story leaves out that important detail.

PornHub announced today that for every 100 video streams viewed in one specific category on the site [emphasis added], they’ll plant a tree in celebration of Arbor Day.

Saying "Big Dick" in the august pages of Time is simply not done, sir! Time enforces certain standards, you see, certain basic elements of decorum, sir. Time prefers to run a story office drones can click on without fear of content filters, to provide a workday larf for the bridge-and-tunnel crowd without initiating an awkward HR discussion when a coworker walks by. Good for you, Time, we bet you have sex with your socks on.

So far, this little (Ed. note: I'd say it's a good size) publicity stunt seems to be working, with the smut peddlers promising to plant more than 12,000 trees as of Wonkette press time (half-past breakfast sandwich). Is this a lot of trees? Like, is all this porno watching actually going to help the planet? We are going to guess the answer is, "Eh, couldn't hurt," which is a phrase the average PornHub user already says to himself several times a day.

[PornHub/ Daily DotTime]

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