Portland, Oregon, We Are In You. You Come To Our Party Now, Tonight!
Bring something to burn. GET IT?
Hi Portland, whatcha doing? Legalizing the pot like a common Coloradan? Well, I guess we will throw you a party then. How's tonight? Does tonight work for you? Shut up, yes it does.
DON'T BE A DENVER and act like you didn't know we were coming. Send out a fax-blast to all your friends and tell them to come burn meats and tofus and pots with us! We will be at Knott City Park tonight (Friday) from 6 to 8 p.m. If you show up early, though, we will already be there, and we will be all like OH LOOK FRIENDS CAME! And we will not worry that YOU SUCK. Come meet the baby, and me, and Shypixel! Come meet Shypixel's handsome brother and Shypixel's handsome brother's pretty wife!
What to bring: a potlucky kind of thing! Yourself! A friend! Maybe a present! We like presents!
What not to bring: a fucking gun. Jesus goddamn Christ.
If you know Brian, bring him by. We miss that guy. Every day is Classic Brian.
TO SUM UP:
Portland, Oregon, drinky thing and potburn, Friday, Oct. 2, 6-8 p.m., at Knott City Park, NE 117th Ave. and Knott.
We love you.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.