What reporters really mean (whether talking to colleagues, boss, or you):

• "The internet propagated bogus information." = "We fucked up."

• "Bloggers let the cat out of the bag." = "We believed those polls, too."

• "Oh, that room service bill includes laundry." = "I emptied the mini-bar."

• "That was quite a night, huh?" = "What's your name again?"

• "Truly, this is a divided America." = "I am planning on resorting to tired red/blue stereotypes for another four years."

• "President Bush has a mandate." = "We didn't believe that 380 ton thing either."

• "We're all just glad it's over." = "Mr. McClellan, you look tense, can I rub your shoulders?"

• "This is a vindication for Karl Rove's strategy" = "We won't tell criminal prosecutor about your Plame leak."

• "Will Bush govern from the middle?" = "Will I have have to talk to Christians?"

• "President Bush is joined by his family." = "I can see Jenna's Barbara's nipples."