Donate
POTUS

Trump Cures Cancer, Trump Is Pretty Sure

Hey, can we splain you the 'Right to Try'? Of course, and you're welcome!

Keep reading... Show less
POTUS

Rest Of World To Shove Our Tariffs Up Our Ass, So That Sounds Sexy Goodtimes Fun!

Trump will break us into a thousand pieces.

In the latest edition of Every Day Is Like Living In An Episode Of Roots With A Healthy Dose Of Manchurian Candidate And A Dash Of Natural Born Killers Because We Got A Pussy Grabbin' White Supremacist For President, let's talk trade wars! Trump did promise to renegotiate agreements and impose tariffs on the campaign trail, didn't he? Promises kept! But at what cost?

Keep reading... Show less
Russia

Jill Stein Robbed You Suckers Blind

Jill Stein raised more for her baseless 'recount' (by, like, double) than she did for her equally baseless campaign.

Dr. Flake-N-Stein strikes a somber pose before conning $7 million from desperate people.

Keep reading... Show less
Culture

Kim Kardashian, Jared Kushner Team Up To Make Useless Appeal To Trump's Nonexistent Humanity

We're sure Donald Trump won't say anything balls-out racist or about Kardashian's ass.

Kim Kardashian will go so far as to pose as Ivanka Trump to convince Donald Trump to show mercy

Keep reading... Show less
Culture

A Solemn Remembrance Of All The Times Barack Obama Did Memorial Day Wrong

Remember the bad old days, when Barack Obama insulted the Troops every time he honored them?

I was surprised how many wingnuts thought I agreed with them, because obviously it wasn't really his beautiful White House.

Keep reading... Show less
Post-Racial America

NFL Compromise: Kneeling Players Have Three-Fifths Free Speech Rights

Fuck Roger Goodell.

Where's my old book of negro spirituals at? We sho' gon' need it if we're going to be ready for the NFL Plantation. Fucking Roger Goodell has done enough shit already to make a fan spit tacks but this move is another exponential level and he has the monotone whispery gall to call it a compromise. Fuck all the way outta here with another scandal under your tenure, Goodell.

Keep reading... Show less
Featured

Internet Morons Can't Wait To See President Obama Get Impeached, Thrown Right Out Of Office He Does Not Hold

They seem to be a day late and a dollar short.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

Resistance, Get Your Red-State Dems In Line!

And Mark Warner too.

Gina Haspel reports to work as new CIA Director

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

New York Times Wonders If It MAY Have Shit Bed A Tiny On That Little Trump-Russia Story Just That One Time

Golf clap, New York Times. JUST KIDDING, FUCK YOU.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

World On Fire. Wonkagenda For Tues., May 15, 2018

Mike Pence's shadow campaign, no peace in the Middle East, and Trump's Chinese theme park. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
2018 State and Local Elections

Mikey Baby, You're In A World Of Shit. Wonkagenda For Wed., May 9, 2018

Trump dumps Iran deal, Mike Pompeo gets some hostages, and election returns! Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Keep reading... Show less
POTUS

Fat Fucker One Big Mac Away From A Heart Attack Picks Fitness Council. It Is A Bad Council.

Never thought we'd look back fondly on Arnold Schwarzenegger, but there you go.

Given that our current "president" is the healthiest individual ever elected to the office (but don’t take his doctor’s word, take his own instead), he is surely qualified to pick a solid group to participate in the President’s Council on Sports, Fitness, and Nutrition. He announced his picks last week and for the most part it’s as big a car wreck as you might expect.

Keep reading... Show less
Russia

Trump Makes Ukraine A Deal It Can't Refuse

Donald Trump teaches Eastern Europe about corruption. Seriously.

No, no reason.

Keep reading... Show less
Elections

Rudy Giuliani Confesses To Fifty Impossible Trump Crimes Before Breakfast

Rudy Giuliani breaks legal Twitter to own the libs.

And then we all put pantyhose on our heads and stuck up a 7-11!

Keep reading... Show less
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

  • Saturday, Aug 11th ....... Seattle, WA
    Discovery Park, 4-7pm
  • Sunday, Aug 12th ....... Bellingham, WA
    Sunnyland Park, 2-5pm
  • Sunday, Aug 19th ....... Spokane, WA
    Audubon Park, 2-5pm

Read More

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc