Pow! Bang! Fireworks! It Is Wonkette's Holiday Begapalooza!



Working for the weekend? US TOO! And it's gonna be a peaceful easy one, just a top 10 and some sort of "holiday post" and then Robyn with a lazy Sunday. Which means this month's moneybeg reminder that Wonkette is entirely reader-supported can sit up top for a nice long stretch if you get bored with your famblies and decide to check the Wonkette Dick Joke Emporium for half-off dick joke sales.

I didn't do a proper moneybeg reminder that Wonkette is entirely reader-supported at you last month, because we got some stimmy and why hound you when everything is fine? You know I don't like to nag jk jk jk I DO.

But last month also saw a 20 percent drop in recurring donations, which for a news site mommyblog recipe hub that runs entirely on reader donations is worrisome indeed! And I know you like it better when I'm focusing on assigning, editing, accounting, HR, thank you notes, and watching that shithead like a hawk 12 hours a day so you don't have to than when I'm focusing on OH NO HOW WILL I PAY WONKETTE'S FIVE FULL-TIME STAFFERS AND FOUR OR FIVE PART-TIME AND/OR FREELANCE. That part sucks and no one likes it and it makes me yell at people and cry and drink a lot and nobody wants that and I haven't had to worry all year so don't make me start now.

But there are a million of you per month in these parts lately, and about 350,000 "core readers" who come here all the time, rain or shine, Facebook links or Facebook throttling, and of those there are about 4000 of you who donate your widow's mite or your rich fuckwad not-mite to Wonkette each month. And those 4000 people can't do it all, all the time, as witnessed by people having to cancel their vig. So I propose that if you are one of the 996,000 who aren't forking some canned clams over to us, and if you are at all able but just haven't felt like grabbing your credit card or your Paypal login, or thought "meh I will do it next time," or thought "fuck you Wonkette I hate you so much no I don't just kidding but also I like my money," well perhaps this could be the day you finally say "YES here is my credit card I LOVE YOU, NEVER DIE."

Again, if you are having economic hardship right now, this does not apply to you, so please don't feel bad even a tiny. You are perfect just as you are, and I'm so glad you're here!

But if you are a person who has an extra $5 or $20 or $1,000,000 a month, keep us in mind, here with our headlamps on our foreheads, excavating away in that fucker's ass, which believe it or not is not the most wholesome place to be. We do it for you, and also for us, because we care about informing, and being informed, and being super gross the whole time we're at it.

A million readers a month is more than the population of six states and the District of Columbia (separately, not together). Even our core 350,000 readers are about the same as the populations of the US Virgin Islands, Northern Mariana Islands, American Samoa, and Guam (together, not separately!). I think a population that size can keep a small, scrappy but professional as fuck news outlet swimming in bread and roses.

So BREAD AND ROSES US! Click how much you want to donate, whether it's once or recurring, and then whether you want to use Paypal or the credit card processor Stripe, because I feel like some people don't know they have to do that last step, like my mom thought she'd been sending us a regular $2 every time we made her laugh for ages when she hadn't. We love you.

(To get to the comments, click on the headline, because this is your OPEN THREAD.)

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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