Power Companies Hate This!! Tabs, Thurs., Jan 30, 2020
Rebecca is taking a personal technology fail day, so please keep her laptop keyboard in your thoughts, won't you?
Alan Dershowitz explained yesterday that since all presidents want to help America, then Donald Trump's pressuring Ukraine to help his reelection definitely counts as acting in the public interest. We are waiting for Andy Kaufman to take that silly Alan Dershowitz mask off. (NBC News)
The White House issued a formal threat to John Bolton, warning that if he publishes his book, he'll be in a world of hurt. It turns out the manuscript is just FULL of classified information, the National Security Administration said, especially since the administration decided all integers are Top Secret, and there are numbers on every page of the book. (CNN)
Ryan Goodman looked at the obituaries for all the Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee who voted on Richard Nixon's impeachment in 1974. Big surprise: whichever way their votes went, "their legacies were largely defined by this one moment. So much so that newspapers titled their obituaries with reference to this vote." (Just Security)
Great Britain is fixing to Brexit at midnight tomorrow, and "Brexit at Midnight" has also been named the year's worst porno title.(New York Times)
A Maryland cop has been charged with second-degree murder and manslaughter after shooting a handcuffed man seated in his patrol car. Seven goddamned times. (ABC News)
Rep. Doug Collins, the hayseed "Hee Haw" auctioneer who made the House impeachment hearings nigh unintelligible, confirmed he plans to run against US Sen. Kelly Loeffler in Georgia, who was appointed in December to replace retiring Sen. Johnny Isakson. Donald Trump had wanted Collins to get the seat because Collins looooves Trump and Loeffler didn't get on the Trump Train fast enough. So now Georgia will see some fun internecine Republican war! So sad when the kids fight, especially if Democrats can manage to take the seat. (Washington Post)
There are now more than 6,000 cases in the coronavirus outbreak, most of them in China. (CNN) But instead of freaking out over an illness that (so far) hasn't seen any significant spread in the US, the smart thing for Americans to do is to protect themselves from the flu, which kills thousands of us annually. Plus, washing your hands and taking common flu prevention steps will probably help prevent the spread of the coronavirus, too. Just be glad Barack Obama's no longer president and forcing people to get Ebola!
Roy Moore is suing the rightwing Washington Examiner for doing fake news to him. (HuffPo) In addition to writing mean headlines, the paper allegedly sinned by saying "multiple" women had accused him of sexually assaulting them, while Moore's suit points out that it was only two women. (Twitter) We wish we were making that up.
The UN warns that ISIS is getting the old murder band back together in Syria and Iraq. (CNN)
Nobody likes Jared Kushner's peace plan for Israel and the Palestinians except for a gif of Charles Foster Kane with Donald Trump's face, clapping insistently. (New York Times)
The US Embassy in Denmark incorrectly tweeted Monday that American troops had liberated Auschwitz. The embassy later apologized and acknowledged that Soviet soldiers had liberated the camp, what with it being in Poland and all. Presumably, embassy staff were simply misled by Ronald Reagan, who in 1983 told Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir that he vividly recalled being part of a US Army film crew documenting the liberation of camps in Germany. Reagan never went to Europe during the war. (Salon)
As of this week, six migrants have died in ICE custody during fiscal year 2020, which started in October. The death of a 63-year-old Cuban man Monday came just days after what appears to have been a suicide by a 39-year-old man Saturday. ICE said it is "firmly committed to the health and welfare of all those in its custody," just like it does every other time a prisoner dies. (Buzzfeed News)
A bunch of groups that oppose human trafficking will boycott a White House summit on trafficking Friday that was organized by Ivanka Trump. The groups say that for all Donald Trump's gross stories about women with duct tape over their mouths being driven though the desert, Trump's immigration policies are actively harming the international effort to reduce trafficking, and damned if they wanted to be in any photo ops with either Trump. (Washington Post)
A section of recently-installed WALL on the border between California and Mexico blowed right over in the wind. One might find a metaphor there, were one metaphorically minded. (CNN)
PETA wants to replace Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog, with an Artificial Intelligence groundhog, to reduce animal cruelty and get publicity for PETA. (WNEP) That's just a waste of good computing power that could be used to generate new cocktails containing dangerous amounts of creme de cacao or surrealist Christmas carols. (AI Weirdness)
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, with its red belly
The All-gracious King of all the earth,
Had a baby at Christmas time,
On Christmas Day,
A true and holy Deity,
Went down to earth,
With human flesh for sacrifice.
Also, here is my cat on a recent snowy day.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.