Dancing on America's grave, like he always does.

Oh great, wonderful, our "president" Barack The Obama has decided to respond to Glorious Donald Trump's speech at the RNC. You know how Trump basically said America is the worstest it's ever been, everybody hates us, guess we should go eat worms, and also we should feel bad? And how Trump also said he was the only one who can fix it, because he has one weird trick or something?

Yeah, well, for some reason Obama thinks that is a load of horseshit. He WOULD believe that, of course:

President Barack Obama dismisses any perception the country is on the “verge of collapse.” [...]

The president responded to a litany of statistics that Donald Trump laid out at the convention. Obama points out that immigration and violence are less of a problem today than they were 20 or 30 years ago.

Huh! You mean all those liberal statistics about violent crime being on a downward path for decades, and how there are fewer illegal Messican immigrants these days are TRUE?

Next he'll be saying there aren't ISIS terr'ists sleeping under the beds of every patriotic American, as if that's even possible. Of course they are there, they are scary, and they are saying many Arabics!!!!

And then after that, the preznit might say it's kinda weird how Donald Trump does sexxx eyes at his daughter Ivanka all the time, possibly commenting that "that's weird."

Among other things the president actually already said, he mentioned that he was too busy doing other things to watch the dumpster fire Republican convention, and by "busy" he probably means golfing with his lesbian lover the King of Spain while he throws Obamaphones at everybody, pfffffffffft.

Or maybe he was just sexing Michelle the whole time, because we're pretty sure they like to do that a whole lot still, in every room of the White House and sometimes other places too.


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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