President Chirac Mauled By Insane Little Dog
Man French people have somebad luck with their dogs. Just a few years ago that lady got half her face eaten off by her Labrador, so they had to slap some cadaver's face on her and that worked out OK, but still. And now former French President Jacques Chirac, who nobody much liked when he was in office, is a national hero because he got mauled by his crappy little Maltese, which was "clinically depressed."
The animal, named Sumo, had become increasingly violent over the past years and was prone to making 'vicious, unprovoked attacks', Chirac's wife Bernadette said.
[...] Mrs Chirac said: 'The dog went for him for no apparent reason.
'We were already aware the animal was unpredictable and is actually being treated with pills for depression.
'My husband was bitten quite badly, but he is certain to make a full recovery over the coming weeks.'
Mrs. Chirac wouldn't say where the former president was bitten, so we assume that means "in the balls."