President Lock-Up-The-Children Has Surely Great Solution For Homeless Crisis
Donald Trump, our fearless leader, is going to fix the homeless crisis. Thank Putin he's in charge now because we've waited forever for someone to finally do something. Trump and Fox News host Tucker Carlson, a true brain trust, discussed the matter yesterday during an interview in Japan.
CARLSON: You've come to where we are now, Osaka or Tokyo, and the cities are clean. There's no graffiti. No one going to bathroom on the street. You don't see junkies.
TRUMP: It's very nice, isn't it?
Carlson and Trump had just finished whining about how Google, Facebook, and Twitter work "against" the fake president. Maybe Trump should "take action"? Japan's current president has been cracking down on the press so it's a little concerning to see Trump extending so much praise to the nation. It's certainly not because of Japan's strict gun control laws.
But major Japanese cities are clean and tidy. Who wouldn't like that? Carlson went on to say that US cities such as New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco have "major" problems with "filth." We don't think he's talking about the New York garbage strike of 2006. Is he really using dehumanizing Nazi speak to discuss the homeless? Trump's response was even weirder.
TRUMP: It's a phenomena that started two years ago.
Trump is literally from New York City.
He knows this isn't true. His daughter, Ivanka, confirmed in a 2003 interview that Trump personally encountered a homeless person once and used him to make a rhetorical point.
IVANKA: I remember once my father and I were walking down Fifth Avenue and there was a homeless person sitting right outside of Trump Tower and I remember my father pointing to him and saying, 'You know, that guy has $8 billion more than me,' because he was in such extreme debt at that point, you know?
This is a touching story of two sociopaths bonding, but more to the point, Trump doesn't understand how debt or wealth or possessions work. The homeless person has no material worth or credit that he could exchange for a single night in Trump Tower. It probably boosts his ego to claim that he came back from being worse off than the homeless, but on his lowest day financially, he still showered and ate.
TRUMP: It's disgraceful. I'm going to maybe — and I'm looking at it very seriously — we're doing some other things that you probably noticed like some of the very important things that we're doing now. But we're looking at it very seriously, because you can't do that.
Trump mulls federal action to intervene on homelessness in cities youtu.be
We still don't know what the hell he's talking about. Can he not say the word "homeless" in fear of summoning one? He's not standing in front of a mirror. He'll be fine. It's unclear if he plans to just outlaw homelessness outright, because that's certainly easier and more effective than banning guns. Trump mentions police officers getting sick "just walking the beat," which has emerged as a recent campaign theme. He claimed that liberals want to waste money on illegal immigrants when that money could be wasted on homeless people. He probably wants to ramp up the homeless threat so he'll have more ammo to use against migrants.
President Freud also declared that the homeless might enjoy the sweet homeless life. Yes, there's evidence that some homeless would prefer to live on the streets or even die than turn to shelters, but Trump probably thinks they should go ahead and die to "decrease the surplus population."
Trump, of course, blames the "liberal establishment" for this nightmare. That's what he's fighting. The "liberal establishment" is why there's a Tech-fueled housing crisis in San Francisco. When the liberals leave him alone, he can fix homelessness with a wag of his finger.
TRUMP: You know, I had a situation when I first became president, we had certain areas of Washington DC where that was starting to happen, and I ended it very quickly. I said, "You can't do that." When we have leaders of the world coming in to see the president of the United States and they're riding down a highway, they can't be looking at that.
Homeless numbers in DC are at their lowest since 2001 but it's unclear what Trump personally did to achieve this. (The number of people who experience homelessness over the course of a year dropped by about 10 percent under Obama and has held steady since 2016.) He's acting as if the nation's capitol is the front room of his house and he ordered the kids to put away all their homeless people because company's coming over. Trump is not alone in viewing homelessness as an aesthetic issue; for some people, the problem is not that people are homeless but that we have to look at them.
Homeless people exist. That's the dilemma. It's a result of either extreme poverty, drug addiction, mental illness or a tragic hat trick. However, real life isn't Oliver! or even a very special episode of "Family Ties" where Mallory convinces a teen runaway to go back home. Large numbers of people living on the streets isn't good for anyone. It's a public safety and health issue. There are no easy answers. It's all very complex, and Trump doesn't do complex. What he does well is incomprehensible scariness. That's his speciality.
TRUMP: We may intercede. We may do something to get that whole thing cleaned up. It's inappropriate. Now, we have to take the people and do something. We have to do something.
There's only so much benefit of the doubt you can give a president who already locks up children in concentration camps. People generally like children. The homeless have never won any popularity contests. God help us.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He recently fled Seattle, where he did theatre work for Book-It Rep and Cafe Nordo.