Project!: Convicted Capitol Rioter Soliciting Letters About How Great He Is
You know what is nice on a cold, dreary Sunday (well, for those of us living in climates wherein today is a cold, dreary Sunday, anyway)? A project! And oh boy, are we ever in luck. Get out your glue sticks and glitter and creepy paper, because Capitol rioter Brandon Straka is soliciting letters testifying to what a wonderful person he is.
If you are unfamiliar, Straka is the gay pro-Trump conservative who started the bullshit #WalkAway movement in which conservatives/stock photo models (allegedly) pretend they used to be total liberals until Donald Trump helped them see the light (and also the cold hard cash). He is not to be confused with the gay pro-Trump conservative who founded Gays For Trump and used to be a PUMA— that's Peter Boykin.
Straka pleaded guilty in October to a misdemeanor for which he will serve up to six months in prison in exchange for prosecutors dropping a felony charge of "impeding police during civil disorder." It's possible he's trying to get a lighter sentence, but given that he is asking that people stress how much he loves cops, this could very well be about the Capitol police officer's Federal lawsuit against Trump and several of his allies, in which he is a named defendant.
An email sent by Straka, via JoeMyGod:
This entire year, the opposing media has labeled me a "terrorist", an "insurrectionist", a "violent rioter", despite the fact that even the charges brought against me never reflected those things, let alone the fact that for anyone who knows me these accusations are absurd.
If you are willing to write a letter on my behalf to testify to the merits of my character, please do. These could go a long way to reverse some of the damage that's been done to my name.
All that is needed is a brief statement about my character, my impact on your life, and what I have meant to you.
1. Please DO NOT discuss the case or any feelings you have about the charges or that day in January.
2. Please do not share any opinions about my guilt or innocence or that of anybody else connected with that day.
For me, the most heartbreaking thing about my case is that the insinuation has been created that I could ever be anti-police or anti-law enforcement.
Allow me to once again be as abundantly clear as I can be: I have ALWAYS backed the blue. I STILL back the blue. I WILL ALWAYS back the blue.
If any of you reading this are in law enforcement, and in particular if you've ever worked with or coordinated with me on any of our dozens and dozens of events- please include that in your letter. It would go a long way for the judge to know that law enforcement officers have positive things to say about me.
If you're able to help with this please write the letter as soon as possible and send it to the address below (see the address at the bottom of the email below the "support" section).
I thank you all in advance for helping me with this. Please continue to pray and hold on tight, and know that we'll be at the end of this very, very soon.
What is he gonna do? Drop a bunch of "Brandon loves cops!" letters all over the judge's desk, Miracle on 34th Street style?
miracle on 34th street letters GIF Giphy
Honestly I kind of hope so.
Straka included an address in the email where you can send these heartfelt letters about how wonderful he is and how much he hates cops, so knock yourself out if you feel so moved.
1872 Lexington Ave. Ste. 139
New York, NY, 10035
Just to be clear, I checked, and it's a UPS store, not his home address. So if the feeling takes you, go ahead and write a lovely letter about "[his] character, [his] impact on your life, and what [he has] meant to you. Or just write-em up and leave 'em in the comments. Alternately, you can just tell me how wonderful I am instead.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse