Donate

DON'T DO THIS.


Hey, Bernie Fans! Look at that meme up there! Isn't that a fun idea, if you are a Bernie fan under 25 who is into raves or gay sex (or both!), to have glow sticks for Bernie? OK, well, if you want Bernie glow sticks, you'll need to figure out how to make them yourself because DO NOT FUCKING DO ANYTHING THAT MEME SAYS. You see, somebody out there is trying to kill you dead:

These instructions do not tell you how to make glow sticks. These are instructions for how to make a deadly chlorine bomb. [...]

Here's what would actually happen if you made them. The instructions require you to mix a swimming-pool-chlorinating tablet with isopropyl alcohol, then shake the ingredients together inside of a closed bottle. The chemical reaction rapidly generates enough chlorine gas to cause a pressurized explosion in the bottle, releasing the gas into the air.

If the lungs are exposed to enough chlorine gas, it begins to attack the respiratory system and can cause the lungs to fill with fluid until the victim asphyxiates.

In case it is against your religion to read block quotes, the short version is IT IS A BOMB. And not in a good way, like if something is "bomb-diggity" or "bomb-ass." It is "bomb" in the bad way, like go boom. We do not want Bernie supporters or Hillary supporters or even Trump supporters to go boom, OK?

So this is some sick genius, but mostly fucking sick. God only knows who would originate something like that ... some murderous asshole on the internet who happens to hate Bernie, or just somebody who wants to kill people and saw an opportunity. Either that or the Clinton-Murder-Industrial-Complex has gone really high tech! (Just kidding, the Clintons haven't actually murdered anybody, and anyone who says otherwise is vomiting out bullshit fake right-wing rumors from the '90s. Don't be an idiot who says things like that.)

And look, if you are a grown-up, you should know by now that half the memes on the internet are bullshit. They say Obama or Hillary or Donald Trump said something they didn't say, or they have wrong #ScienceFacts, yadda yadda. They're so notoriously unreliable that actually funny pranksters have made TONS of memes that sort of sound real, just to see if they can get all the dumbo-craps on the internet to share them. AND THEY DO SHARE THEM.

In that way, this is an object lesson of sorts, in how memes are bad and you should feel bad for sharing them, unless you are sure they are good memes like this Wonkette meme of U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch saying something nice to transgender people, in which case share away!

But this is super sick, because though many smart people already know memes are often horseshit, people don't tend to be conditioned to think RECIPES ON THE INTERNET are horseshit, even if they are recipes for glow sticks.

Nobody goes to Buzzfeed Tasty and reads Your Cast Iron Skillet Will Never Be The Same After You Make These Steak And Potato Nachos, and thinks, "I hope they don't mean my iron skillet will never be the same because the nachos are actually a bomb!"

[wonkbar]<a href="http://wonkette.com/567966/grown-up-baked-mac-and-cheese-recipe-for-grown-ups"></a>[/wonkbar]Likewise, nobody goes to the Wonkette Recipe Hub and wants to make our Grown-Up Mac 'N' Cheese For Grown-Ups (WHICH IS SO GOOD, OMG) and thinks, "Oh, I'm so tempted, but what if Wonkette is going to make me 'splode?" Trust us, the only kinds of 'sploding that will happen if you make that are A) Your heart and your body and mind will 'splode from HAPPINESS, because it is so good, or B) Yo' ASS will 'splode, because it's got some 'gredient in it you know you're not supposed to eat, but you made it anyway because it is THAT GOOD.

The point is that whoever made this meme is a sick, sadistic motherfucker and we hope they get caught. The other point is STAY SAFE, BERNIE SUPPORTERS. The OTHER other point is Wonkette's mac 'n' cheese is the bomb, and we mean that in THE GOOD WAY.

[Mic.com]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC

Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc