PSA: Do NOT French Kiss Your Chickens With Your Tongues, You'll Get Salmonella Herpes
Please take note of this important health news about chickens from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:
"We do not recommend snuggling or kissing the birds or touching them to your mouth," says Megin Nichols, a veterinarian with the CDC, "because that is certainly one way people become infected with salmonella."
Did you know this was a problem? Maybe, if you are an owner of "backyard poultry," and you like to make out with your pet chickens. But you should not do that, not only because EW GROSS, DUDE, but also because it has led to an outbreak of salmonella so bad, 33 people have had to go to the hospital this year alone because they are so sick, from fondling and tonguing their feathered pets. The CDC says you should not do that!
But some chicken-loving outlaws don't care what the CDC says; they will be chicken-loving outlaws. Like this lady, Lynette Mattke, whose family has many pet chickens they love to snuggle and cuddle:
"This is my favorite, Caledonia," Lynette Mattke says as she holds a sturdy, black and white Barred Rock hen. "I think she's the prettiest, too." [...]
"You see Caledonia, she just cuddles in. She loves to stick her head under my arm," Mattke says. "Our friends who come to visit [the chickens] are always so surprised at how soft they are. Because I guess people think about their beaks and their feet, which aren't soft. But their feathers are just so smooth and soft."
Aw, that's sweet. Disgusting and weird, but sweet? Sort of?
Anyway, if you are going to own chickens as pets, you should be sure to know your chickens, but not know know them, in the biblical way:
This concludes today's publics service announcement about how you should stop making out with your chickens, for your health. You're welcome.