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Pulling Your Chang

My What A Big Sword You HaveJeb Bush, at a ceremony naming Marco Rubio Florida House Speaker:


''I rely on Chang with great regularity in my public life. He has been by my side and sometimes I let him down. But Chang, this mystical warrior, has never let me down.''

Bush then unsheathed a golden sword and gave it to Rubio as a gift.

We can't decide what's more fucked up -- That the Bush family apparently calls upon what the article describes as a "legendary Chinese warrior," or that when they do so, they they sound like they're scripting a Ron Jeremy vehicle: "Faced with a stalemate, then governor apparently 'unleashes Chang.'"

No matter, we're totally stealing that: Who doesn't unleash Chang every once in awhile? Hey, watch the counter, I gotta go unleash some Chang. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just unleashing Chang for me? Don't make me pull this car over and unleash Chang! Five o'clock -- time to unleash Chang. Yeah, it looked like Gore would win Florida, then we unleashed Chang.

Gov. Bush & his mystical buddy [Gainsville Sun via Think Progress]

UPDATE!

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