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Alex Jones is having a bad day today. He got kicked off of Facebook, he got kicked off of Spotify -- and, to add to that, he'd already been kicked off of iTunes. This means it's going to be just a little bit harder for him to reach whatever potential cranks in America are not already listening to his weird rants about gay frogs. All because he goes around threatening people all the time. How is that even fair?

But he does have a new buddy! He's got a brand new friend -- a big Hollywood star, he claims! -- named Isaac Kappy, who is ready to help him out all the pedophiles in Hollywood. What? You have never heard of Isaac Kappy? Wow, that sure is surprising. After all, he played "Pet Store Clerk" in Thor, and also "Rowdy Prisoner" on an episode of "Breaking Bad." Jones had Kappy on his show on Friday to discuss how all the big stars in Hollywood are molesting children for the purpose of "soul sucking" -- which, according to Jones, gives them magic powers of some kind, I guess.

I watched the whole video this morning, but cannot share it with you as YouTube has now also terminated InfoWars. However, I assure you: It was very, very stupid.


Isaac Kappy is also currently being investigated by the LAPD for stalking and harassing actor Seth Green and his wife Clare Grant, whom he is accusing of being pedophiles. This, he claims, is because one time he was at their house, and Green showed him a secret room behind a bookcase and said, in a sinister voice, "This is where we keep the children, muahahahahahaha!" -- which definitely seems exactly like something a person would say, for serious, and not as a joke.

He also says that at one point, he was having dinner with the couple and Seth Green said, "We need to talk about chicken" -- even though dinner had already been served and they were not even having chicken! He claims that "chicken" is code for young children, and definitely not a reference to Green's show, Robot Chicken.

Obviously this is a very serious conspiracy, just like animal crackers.

The surprising thing here is that Kappy did not accuse Green of being an actual werewolf or of attempting to follow in his Evil father's footsteps and trying to steal enough nuclear weapons to hold the world hostage for 100 million dollars. Perhaps that will next?

This is not Isaac Kappy's first run-in with the cops, as he had previously, allegedly, choked Michael Jackson's daughter Paris Jackson at a game night party.

Kappy had been harassing Green and his wife for a while, but the LAPD started circling the wagons after he tweeted out the following missive:

"In light of the interesting traffic happening around my house I want to make something CRYSTAL CLEAR: while I am a VERY strong advocate of peaceful disclosure, make no mistake, assets are in place and if you kill me or even try, it will rain .50 cals in the Hollywood Hills."

He has also accused Green of trying to get him to join the Illuminati, for which he would receive $250,000 and a car.

Sure seems like a very normal guy!

Prior to this, Kappy also sent Grant a series of creepy ass letters declaring his love for the couple and desire to remain their friend.

Kappy is also described as being a star of "Vanderpump Rules" on Bravo.

Now, I have only watched Vanderpump Rules sporadically, so I called an expert source on the matter -- my sister Gia, who has seen every episode at least once. Actually, I annoyed her about in Facebook and then called my mom to see if she knew anything about this dude, which she didn't, and then my mom called her to say "Call your sister back, she needs to know about this Isaac Kappy person for her work!" So, Gia called me and was like "OH MY GOD, THERE IS NO ISAAC ON VANDERPUMP RULES." So I was like, "Are you sure? He is being called a 'star' of Vanderpump Rules!" And she said "Robyn. Robyn. I don't know what to tell you, there is no Isaac on Vanderpump Rules. There's no Isaac!"

I pressed further. "He was in a band with Tom Sandoval?" -- to which she explained that maybe he was in the background on one or two episodes when Tom was dating Christina (????), and their band played one time, but he wasn't like on the show. I trust her judgment implicitly in this matter -- like, we'll be watching Law and Order and she'll say "Oh, that guy was in a Cheerio's commercial back in 1997! Don't you remember that?" so I am pretty sure she'd remember some weirdo Seth Green stalker guy on one of her favorite shows. Especially with his particular hair situation.

So yeah, they were in a band together, called Charles McMansion. Here is the video for their only song, "Touch In Public," which you might think was a Chromeo song, if Chromeo were not very good.

Now, if I were a disingenuous Alex Jones/Isaac Kappy type person, I could suggest that the band's name, Charles McMansion, signifies Isaac Kappy's desire to start a cult and brainwash a bunch of teenage girls into murdering a pregnant starlet for him in hopes of igniting a race war. I could suggest that the video -- in which he and the guy who actually is on the show have a device that makes people start acting all sexy -- means that he actually has such a device and is planning to use it to start Helter Skelter. See how easy this is? The signs are everywhere!

As ridiculous as Kappy's claims are, and as obvious as it is that he is about as much of a Hollywood insider as I am, they're being repeated and peddled tons of conspiracy loons and QAnon accolytes all over the internet.

The fact that some random, woman-choking stalker dude who was barely even on "Vanderpump Rules" can just say a bunch of horrible things about people and immediately a bunch of morons to assume he must be telling the truth is absolutely terrifying. What he is doing to Seth Green could literally be done to anyone.

[The Daily Beast]

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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