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Race-Conscious Four-Year-Old Saves Unjustly Accused Black Man From Racist Jerk Babysitter Robber

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Are you a babysitter? Are you the kind of asshole who lets her boyfriend in to rob and plunder the Wilsons or whoever while you're eating all the shrimp cocktail? (No judgment on the shrimp cocktail, dude, just the ROBBING AND RACSIMING.) Maybe do notblame the robbery on the black next door neighbor, DICK, if your small charge was awake and spyin' the whole time like Cindy Lou Who.


So sitter lets in her boyfriend and another dude to rob the Dean family silly.

“The bad guys stole my kitty bank. They stole my iPod,” Abby told WITI. “They also stole my Xbox and my Wii.”

That is a lot of electronics for a four-year-old maybe? MOVING ON.

The sitter told police she’d never seen the men before, but that one of them looked like an African-American neighbor named Cody Oaks.

Police handcuffed Oaks and questioned him for hours. It was Abby, however, who told police that he couldn’t be the robber.

“It wasn’t the right skin color,” said Abby. The robbers she saw, she said, were white men.

Sometimes it helps to see color, Stephen Colbert. Like when you are saving the unjustly accused patsy of a black neighbor from ignorant racist smegma-soaked shitstains.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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