Libertarian annoyance Neal Boortz, filling in as host of the Herman Cain radio show (which is an actual thing),added his fair-taxed two cents to the Great Santa Is White Stupid Foofaraw of 2013 Monday, explaining that 1) Santa is, yes, a white Caucasian European-American honky, and 2) Because shut up, he just is, all right? We've got another eight days of this crap, folks, and it is apparently here for the duration. But it's at least a little different from the usual screaming idiocy of the War on Christmas, so there's that.

Boortz, filling in for Herman Cain (who inherited the show from Boortz in January, so it's old home weirdo week), took a call from a lady who couldn't believe that Megyn Kelly got criticized when she pointed out the obvious truth that Santa Claus and Jesus are white, because the racial identity of fictional characters is very important.

Boortz replied, “Yeah, I’m sorry, Santa Claus is white! Okay? Deal with it!”

The caller then bemoaned the sad state of oppressed white people in today's modern America of today: “Everything has got to be black now, it doesn’t matter what it is.” It's so true -- and probably Obama's fault.

And then Boortz deploys some infallible logic: “You know, I’m going to scream and complain because Martin Luther King is always portrayed as black. It just ain’t right.” Haw haw haw good one Neal Boortz, you got your sarcgasm all over us!

We'd love to say with any confidence that Boortz represents Peak Stupid in the discussion of White Santa 2013, but we've got a week to go before Sacred Baby Festival Day, and we still haven't heard from Rick Santorum or Sarah Palin on this, not to mention the hilarious shenanigans that are still waiting to be cooked up by rank and file wingnuts. It will be interesting to see if anyone will hang onto their butthurt until January; we won't be terribly surprised if some rightwing wit makes a hilarious satirical call for equal time for "White MLK." We haven't heard from Victoria Jackson in a while...


Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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It is Friday, Yr Wonkette's back end (that's website talk) has been cranky all afternoon like a digital babby that needs a nap, and we are all stuck in the stupidest timeline. The one way we know it's not actually hell is that there are still adorable doggies and kitties and sloths, no to mention toddlers preschoolers named Donna Rose, and of course you, you lovely wonderful readers of ourn. And if you're in Eastern Washington or its environs, you can come out to meet Yr Editrix, Yr Shypixel, and Yr one day Benevolent Monarch Donna Rose come this Sunday in the Evergreen State's second-largest city, Spokane!

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