Who understands race better than these guys?

Noted race expert Rand Paul chatted with fellow race expert Sean Hannity the other night, and the senator from Kentucky had some terrific advice for Black Lives Matter, for which its leaders will no doubt be sending him an Edible Arrangement to express their gratitude. Sure, the movement has recently released its own platform, called "Campaign Zero," detailing 10 policy solutions, none of which are "cut taxes" or "more dads and better morals." So clearly, they're in need of Rand's expertise. Tell 'em how they can best achieve their goals of combating police violence in their communities, Senator:

I think they should change their name, maybe. If they were "All Lives Matter" or "Innocent Lives Matter" -- I am about justice. And frankly, I think a lot of poor people in our country, and many African-Americans, are trapped in this war on drugs, and I want to change it, but commandeering the microphone and bullying people and pushing people out of the way, I think really isn't a way to get their message across.

Ah ha! See, it's all about branding. No one wants to hear about black lives. But innocent lives, well, there's a catchy way to appeal to those who really care about justice. Like Rand Paul. And he knows what he's talking about, because he is also a minority, as he explained to the Urban League (black people!!!) a year ago. Not the kind of minority whose community is affected by police violence on a daily basis (his repeat offender criminal thug son has never been roughed up in his multiple encounters with the po-po, that we are aware of), but because of his extremely unpopular "libertarian" beliefs that federal government should only exist to regulate hoo-has.

That's why, as president, Paul will rescind all executive orders to take us back to the good old days of 1792. Except for the one that freed the slaves, maybe. Probably not that. As a "slave" under Obamacare, he is aware that slavery is bad.

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And Rand Paul is nothing if not a real it-getter, especially when it comes to Race Stuff. As he tells Hannity, he has "been to Howard University" (where the black kids do college), and he's "discussed it in Chicago," where black people are known to live.

So I'm more than willing to discuss it, but having people take the microphone, they need to go somewhere else and rent their own microphone.

And of course, if they could just change their name and their focus to something more palatable -- perhaps the innocent lives of the unborn, which is another justice thing Rand Paul cares about -- he is willing to talk about which lives matter, so long as it's not the black ones.



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