Rand Paul Turns Down Veep Slot to Marry True Love (Iran)


Well looks like someone has decided not to fight Marco Rubio to the death for the chance to be the losing vice presidential nominee of the 2012 presidential campaign, as Rand Paul ibn Ron has now totally taken everyone's war ball and gone home. Rand Paul is not going to let you just unanimously consent to "sanctions" against the Ayatollah (is he still there? It is still 1979, right?) should he or they or whomever is now in charge decide to get them a nookular bomb and rain hellfire from the skies, as is their right as a sovereign nation. But why won't Rand Paul consent to "sanctions"? Because sanctions are war. So now Rand Paul is the most powerful Chomskyite on the planet.

Okay, first Google result for "definition of economic sanctions:"

Economic sanctions are domestic penalties applied by one country (or group of countries) on another for a variety of reasons. Economic sanctions include, but are not limited to, tariffs, trade barriers, import duties, and import or export quotas. The most famous example of an economic sanction is the fifty-year-old United States embargo against Cuba.

Note conspicuous lack of word "combat." Now, take it away, RawStory quoting Rand Paul!

“Before sending our young men and women into combat, we should have a mature and thoughtful debate over the ramifications of and over the authorization of war and over the motives of the war,” [Paul said].

The bill would penalize U.S. parent firms for certain Iran-related activities of their foreign subsidiaries and mandate sanctions for anyone that provides Iran with equipment that aids censorship or the suppression of human rights.

It would also formally state that U.S. policy is intended to prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon and sanction uranium mining joint ventures with Iran’s government outside of Iran.

Your Wonkette finds itself in the odd, loguey state of finding "reasonable" a bill passed by the GOP House, so we will assume Rand Paul is right and this is just a reach-around to that part they said about it being the intention of the US to prevent A WARNING IN THE FORM OF A MUSHROOM CLOUD and therefore "sanctions" would mean totes going in and kicking Iran's ass instead. Also, Rand Paul is a fucking hippie now, the end. [RawStory]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

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