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Rand Paul Wants You To Not Enslave Him, and He Sort of Hates Major Republican Views

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Oh, you've read a quote from Rand Paul sayingthe unemployed should stop complaining and get a job already? The Louisville Courier-Journal sees that and raises you a "here's a whole bunch of quotes of Rand Paul saying crazy things about random government regulations and stuff Republicans hold dearly." Certainly there are a lot of things in this bargain bin of Rand Paul wisdom. For example, he is against housing discrimination laws because what if there's a “church, bed-and-breakfast or retirement neighborhood that doesn't want noisy children”? And he doesn't really care for the Americans with Disabilities Act, because can't you just force the disabled to work on the ground floor instead of installing an elevator? But the best stuff is him trying to overcome the slavery of ophthalmologists and saying stuff that will anger Republicans.


Zealously advocating for free-market economics, he also has criticized private health insurance, saying it keeps patents from negotiating lower prices with their doctors.

"We need to get insurance of out of the way and let the consumer interact with their doctor the way they did basically before World War II," he said on Kentucky Educational Television's Kentucky Tonight on Dec. 2, 2002.

What?

Noting that "computers are half the price they were 10 years ago," Paul said, "Why does capitalism work for computers and not for health care? It is because you have a third-party system paying for the health care, and not the patient."

Oh, okay. We need to haggle with our doctors! "Sir, you've got burns all over your body. We need to operate immediately." "Sure, I bet you need to operate, doc. I'll tell you what: I'll give you my Kia Sportage if you give me a boob job." "But sir, the burns --" "I SAID I WANT A BOOB JOB AND I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU ANYTHING MORE THAN MY SPORTAGE."

But the lack of chicken barter and haggling is not the worst part of modern medicine. It is the government trying to ENSLAVE Rand Paul and his staff:

Speaking at a town-hall meeting on the subject in Lexington on Nov. 14, 2009, he said, "I think you don't have a right to happiness -- you have the right to the pursuit of happiness ... if you think you have the right to health care, you are saying basically that I am your slave. I provide health care. ... My staff and technicians provide it. ... If you have a right to health care, then you have a right to their labor."

Rand Paul will also make fans of conservatives in this article:

"As conservatives," he said, "we say that throwing more money at a problem doesn't always fix it. But then all the sudden, we lose our brains and say, a billion dollars here, a trillion dollars there to Halliburton. We keep spending with no restraint. ... We need to recognize as Republicans that we can't give a blank check to the military."

Oh, that was probably just a misquote! Rand Paul can't really hate the military—

In the same interview, he said, "I think torture is always wrong" and that "our country should have a higher ideal than that."

Yeah but, he at least supports the troops and knows that terrorists are 100% Satan? Rand Paul says Americans "need to figure out what is going on with terrorism and why they attack us."

At least Rand Paul protects the sanctity of toilet privacy: "When I built my first house, the government ... was even interested in what kind of toilets I had in my house."

Ahhhhh, there we go. YES, GET THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF OUR TOILETS! YOU SAID IT, RAND! [Courier-Journal]

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