Rand Paul Bernie Sanders Cage Match, GO
Bernie Sanders offered a little resolution in the US Senate today, calling for his colleagues to back the intelligence community's assessment of Russian fuckery in the 2016 election and also to insist that Donald Trump should actually enact the sanctions against Russia that Congress passed last year. By golly, Senator Rand Paul simply was not going to stand for such crazy warmongering from people who are seething with hatred against Donald Trump, and he blocked the resolution, because why is old Bernie "Nuke 'Em All" Sanders rattling his saber like that?
Here's that crazy warmongering resolution, via NBC congressional reporter Frank Thorpe:
Sanders's resolution states that the U.S. Senate:
1. Accepts the assessment of the United States intelligence community with regard to interference by the Russian Federation in elections in the United States and in other democracies:
2. Must move aggressively to protect our election systems from interference by Russia or any foreign power. and work closely with our democratic partners around the world to do the same;
3. Demands that the sanctions against Russia that were passed last year be fully implemented by the president;
4. Will not accept any interference with the ongoing investigation of Special Counsel Mueller, such as the offer of preemptive pardons or the firing of Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. and that the president must cooperate with this investigation; and
5. Declares that the President must cooperate with the investigation of Special Counsel Mueller
Damn, that's some aggressive language, or at least it sure sounds a lot more aggressive when run through the Rand Paul Crazy Filter:
Paul fretted that "Trump Derangement Syndrome has officially come to the Senate" and you know what that means: Democrats and Bernie Sanders would prefer to incinerate the planet in nuclear war than to let a good man try to make peace. It's really that simple!
Nobody is saying or excusing Russia's meddling in our elections. Absolutely, we should protect the integrity of our elections. But simply bringing the hatred of the president to the Senate floor in order to say, 'We're done with diplomacy, we're going to add more sanctions and more sanctions" --
You know what? I would rather that we have more open channels of discussion with the Russians. Kennedy, at the height of the Cold War, had a direct line to Khrushchev, and it may have prevented the end of the world!
Paul ranted on a little bit more about how Democrats have decided to give up on diplomacy and just want war all the time. The evil Democrats won't even let us have a beautiful denuclearization deal on the Korean Peninsula, which the Russians would dearly love to help with, but NOOOOOOOOO,
We're not going to have it if we just simply heap more sanctions on and say we're not going to talk to the Russians, and anybody that talks to the Russians has committed treason [...]
This has gotta stop. This is crazy hatred of the president. This is crazy partisanship that is driving this!
Then he broke in to an impassioned rendition of "Give Peace a Chance" and, with tears welling up in his eyes, placed a single daisy in the barrel of each of the Democrats' M1 rifles.
The Gentleman from Vermont just happened to have Bernie Sanders right there, who pointed out the gentleman from Kentucky knew nothing of his work. As wily sneaky warmongers will do, he called attention to the minor detail that his resolution had "nothing to do with ending diplomacy." As for sanctions, Sanders's resolution only called for enforcing the sanctions Congress passed nearly unanimously back in January (for the record, Paul and Sanders himself were the only no votes in the Senate, but with the law passed, you're supposed to follow it).
Under Senate rules, Paul's objection was enough to kill Sanders's call for unanimous consent, so it looks like Rand Paul has saved us once again from nuclear devastation, as well as from calling on Trump to cooperate with the Mueller investigation, which is roughly the same thing.
[A note from your editrix: If you can't say something nice when Bernie Sanders does a good thing -- you know who you are -- let's sit this post out, 'k?]
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.