Random Blurtings Reveal Voters' Innermost Thoughts

If the global collective unconscious may be likened to a vast, roiling ocean, then your average American voter's mental workings are a fetid kiddie pool with a half-deflated beach ball bobbing around the perimeter. So what better way to plumb voters' depths than to ask them to shout out whatever word comes into their head whenever they hear some other word?

An AP/Yahoo News poll reveals that when voters hear "John McCain," they involuntarily holler "old," while "Barack Obama" elicits orgasmic cries of "change." Also, voters tend to think John McCain is tuff while Obama is warm and cuddly.

Clinton voters don't like Obama any more now than they did in November, but of course in November none of them even knew who he was. Now that they know he is the NOOBZAMA CRUSHER OF DREAMZ who subverted Democracy by failing to RESPECT A WOMEN, it is kind of surprising that they don't dislike him more than ever.

But John McCain will win the election because he is 9 percentage points more popular than the Republican party, whose collective approval ratings rest somewhere between Ghengis Khan and Bill Buckner.

In conclusion, surveys r dumb.

Old Guy vs Change: McCain, Obama Images Take Shape [AP]


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