Reactions: Did You Hear About This 'Obamas' Character?
Hey there, what's this "Live on the Internets" thing that you people do? There's some typey and then some more typey and then your editor abandons you for a new post? Let's do it!
7:10: Scarborough: Sure, he won this one, but did you know the Hispanics don't like him?
7:11: Rachel Maddow: He needs to "beat the spread." Saucy!
7:12: Tom Brokaw says we are paying far too much attention to the crap we're all saying ("conventional wisdom").
7:14: On this very important occasion, Fox News is playing old timey video of Ellis Island immigrants? But what about Barack Obama? Did he beat the spread in 1906?
7:16: Glenn Beck wonders why everyone doesn't just mate with everybody else. Amy Holmes: My mom did!
7:18: According to Wolf Blitzer, a bunch of stuff will be happening soon but not yet.
7:21: White men love Clinton and Obama just about equally.
7:21: White women love Clinton more.
OK! Time for some boring Republican coverage ...
7:24: Shepard Smith, speaking only in gerunds!
7:26: Glenn Beck: One option is selling your soul to the devil. Tempting!
7:27: Voting for John McCain is like voting for Hannibal Lecter?
7:27: Jonah...Is that Johan Goldberg? For the first time in ever, an Internet personality is somewhat less repellent in person than one might have imagined.
7:29: We are settling on CNN because that is the station the television likes best. Also, what other network has horrible old Bill Bennett on it?
7:30: Obama wins Georgia with 1,375 votes. With 1 percent in. How many officials will he have to suck off in order to win?
7:32: McCain, Huckabee, Romney in three-way clusterfuck.
7:36: OMG a freedom-hating tornado has struck Memphis, Tennessee! People were still at the polls.
7:38: Jeffrey Toobin just called Lou Dobbs "Wolf." Toobin, DO YOU SEE A BEARD?
7:39: Gloria Borger: Voters don't like to be told how to vote, which is why political campaigns are always so unsuccessful.
7:40: Gergen refuses to predict whether Obama will win any more states.
7:42: Dobbs believes the Northeast is prejudiced toward the South, but he is not including any of the Northeasterners present because that would be rude.
7:44: Hey, anybody else getting a Ron Paul ad right now? Did you know Ron Paul has delivered hundreds of babies?
7:47: Ooh, very interesting exit poll info examining that Very Tight Race!
7:47: Everything in Georgia is divided into 60/40 camps, such as 64% evangelicals and...shit that graph went away. You get the idea. The point is, somebody needs a drink right now.
7:49: 70% of GA Republicans have been living under a rock.
7:49: Gaack, 9 polls closing in just 10 minutes! How will they all be live blogged???
7:50: Bill Bennett: There is no profile of the McCain supporter. That is because they are gelatinous shape-shifting minxes like that gal in the superheroes movie. You know the one.
7:54: Back to Fox. O'Reilly: "Psychologically, it will be over tonight." Hmm.
7:55: MSNBC: Russert salivating over New Jersey and Massachusetts. "Look at it."
7:56: Keith Olbermann is sitting like he's really cold or maybe like Chris Matthews just farted. A real "don't touch me" sort of look.
7:58: Annnd...back to CNN. Roland Martin points out that Hillary Clinton has no home state, because she is eternal and without origin or end.
8:00: Projection: John McCain gets Connecticut. Romney carries Massachusetts. Illinois: McCain. No more projections for the Republicans, boo.
8:01: Democrats: Illinois to Obama, Oklahoma to Clinton...but who will win Texas?