Refresh This Post Every Five Seconds. Election Live Updates, Day Two!

2020 presidential election


Those of us who stayed up and watched results so late that JOE AND MIKA WERE TALKING TO US before we went to bed have finally gotten some sleep. To be honest, we really needed to stay up to see Milwaukee mail ballots come in, in order that we might sleep a peaceful sleep, instead of a doom sleep.

The Milwaukee ballots came in. With almost all the Wisconsin ballots counted, Joe Biden is ahead by about 20,000 votes. Michigan started coming in, and Joe Biden is comfortably ahead. Turnout in Detroit was high, you see. Biden's leads are still holding in Nevada and Arizona. Oh, and they finally called Maine for Biden.

That's 270.

After that, there are still a lot of votes to be counted in Georgia (margin down to 87,000), North Carolina isn't finished, and Pennsylvania we don't even know yet. The Biden team seems confident.

The Senate ... ugh we do not even know yet. But we don't want to talk about it until we have to talk about it. First let's fight to count all the fucking votes, and God knows what ballots are going to fall out of Postmaster General Louis DeJoy's A-hole.

House of Representatives still should be fine.

Here is your Wednesday liveblogging post for you to refresh every five seconds while we bring this thing home.

12:55: With nearly all the votes counted, the Trump campaign is now saying it is IMMEDIATELY asking for a recount in Wisconsin, where state law does not have an automatic trigger for that. So maybe they'll have to pay for that. Do they have any money?

Anyway, in its statement, campaign manager Bill Stepien whined that polls showing Biden more comfortably ahead were "voter suppression."

12:58: Here is a Trump tweet Twitter has marked as bullshit:

Yes, they are "working hard" by counting all the votes, numbnuts.

12:59: By the way, we are probably going to hear the news about Georgia and Michigan today. Things should be clearer maybe, possibly, by the time you are on your 68th wine cooler of the evening.

1:06: To start getting some context for what happened with the vote -- and we still don't know what dirty tricks beyond regular disgusting voter suppression lies the Trump campaign and Russia pulled, and we need to stay on it -- the story that is starting to emerge that we are seeing from extremely smart numbers people on Twitter is that cities and suburbs are going further left while rurals go further right.

So, more divided than ever before.

We saw lots of reports last night about counties in the sticks where Trump improved on his 2016 margins, and also places in the cities and burbs where Biden significantly improved on Hillary Clinton's numbers.

Oh by the way, don't even pay attention to the popular vote count yet unless you just want to watch Biden's lead go up, up, up. Biden is going to blow Hillary's popular vote win out of the water, looks like. And if it seems insane that Biden could win by GABILLIONS of votes and merely squeak by in the Electoral College, please remember 2016 and realize this is indicative of the same problem. If the vote of the people was what mattered, this would have been over at 10 last night.

1:12: People on MSNBC right now: very possible Biden's popular vote win will be in the four to five point range, nearing Obama's 2012 popular vote or even surpassing it.

1:18: We are extremely sorry to have to tell you this:

1:28: In case you couldn't keep up, this about sums it up:

1:30: The AP has called the 2nd congressional district of Maine for Trump. Jesus. Which ... oh God, we think that means the 269-269 electoral scenario is back in play.

1:39: Oh thank God. Senator Gary Peters has taken the lead (a tiny one) in Michigan, and Biden's lead has expanded there to about 45,000 votes. Peters has to hold on to that seat.

2:06: Hooray, CNN has officially called Wisconsin for Joe Biden!

2:20: Oh good, now the Trump campaign has filed a lawsuit to stop ballot counting in Michigan, citing black people voting "has not been provided with meaningful access to numerous counting locations to observe the opening of ballots and the counting process, as guaranteed by Michigan law."

Oh fuck off. Also they are throwing a press conference in an hour, probably so Trump can do a dictator-style declaration of victory again. Sounds like Rudy Giuliani is going to it, and also Pam Bondi and Eric and Lara!

In other words, the best people.

2:23: AP has called Wisconsin.

Also, the "Dave Wasserman" numbers expert guy tweeted this a minute ago, to make you feel better:

2:37: Briefly, re our last few updates, why is Rudy Giuliani screaming about "cheating" in Pennsylvania? Because they think they lost PA. If they thought PA was going to come through for them, we don't think they'd be doing this hasty event right now. So they're screaming fraud. Steel yourselves.

2:42: Trump margin down to 83,000 in Georgia.

Meanwhile, the popular vote, as it stands, with 87 percent counted, has Biden winning over fifty percent. Over 50 percent. Which ... we'd note is about exactly where the national polls said he'd be. Trump is around 48 percent.

Again, if the Electoral College was abolished as the slavery-era trash heap it is, we wouldn't be in this situation.

2:51: Message from the man who will be president-elect:

Lotta people noting that if they stop counting NOWRIGHTNOW, Biden wins.

3:04: There are 117,000 outstanding absentees in North Carolina. Guess when we'll find out about them? Haha next week. DRINK!

Also Georgia may still end up OK. Just FYI.

Should know something this afternoon/evening.

3:10: Oh good, we were wondering where the rabid frothing mobs were.

3:26: Quick update on numbers: the biggies haven't come in in Georgia yet, but Trump's lead just got shaved down to 78K votes. What we are hearing is that they're likely to break down so heavily for Biden that he can do this.

Oh man, Georgia in the D column by this afternoon would make us feel good about life.

3:42: Donald Trump is on Twitter claiming Michigan has "found" enough ballots to keep a "wonderful young man" John James out of the Senate from Michigan. Meanwhile people are showing up to storm the election counting.

It's almost like he's trying to incite violence.

Meanwhile Georgia just keeps tightening.

3:53: Biden is now ahead in the popular vote by over three million, so officially more than Hillary Clinton's win by the vote of the people in 2016.

In other news, Devin Nunes is officially going back to Congress to sue Twitter cows.

Also the Nevada Republican Party is now (lying and) saying it's gotten "THOUSANDS" of complaints about voting irregularites. Yeah, we bet.

3:59: New York Times numbers guy Nate Cohn is "surprised" nobody is calling Michigan yet, considering how everything that's left out there is blue blue blue-y fucking blue.

Point is, that should be happening. Michigan and Wisconsin. Two pillars of the blue wall are rebuilt. Just gotta fight off ALL THESE FUCKING LAWSUITS.

4:10: Biden and Harris making statement.

BIDEN: Democracy is the heartbeat of this nation. Highest turnout ever. Over 150 million people. (And I won.)

4:11: BIDEN: "We're winning enough states to reach 270 electoral votes to win the presidency." Also keep counting all the votes, because I am the only candidate in this race who believes in that.

I won Wisconsin by 20,000, basically the same as Trump won it by. I'm winning Michigan by like 35K and growing. (He may win by over 100,000 votes all said and done.) Pennsylvania looks A-OK to me. We flipped Arizona and the second district of Nebraska. Also my popular vote total is going to be BALLER. We are going to win "more votes than any ticket in the history of this country."

4:13: Biden already saying "lower the temperature" and Uniter Not Divider things, because he knows he's the president-elect.

4:14: "I will govern as an AMERICAN president." Unlike Donald Trump, who ... you know.

4:19: CNN has called Michigan for Biden. HOORAY.

Also this was just a very good speech. Struck the perfect tone. Is already speaking like the president-elect, because he is.

Meanwhile Trump is in Pennsylvania and they're all whine-lying that Trump has won Pennsylvania. He has not. That's a whine-lie. In fact we think Biden's going to pull that one out too.

4:27: Everybody now calling Michigan, and it looks like once all the votes are counted, it's not gonna be that close. PA is trending exactly how it needs to. That would be ballgame, even without Arizona, Nevada, or Georgia.

Start referring to Joe Biden as President-Elect Joe Biden.

4:32: FYI:

4:47: According to #math, Biden is sitting at 253 electoral votes. That does not include Arizona, though it obviously will. PA puts him over. And we are going to get some real Georgia numbers ANYDAMNTIMENOW.

4:50: A few more numbers from Georgia, Trump's margin down to 66K.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, that would be hi-larious.

5:04: Trump is HEREBY DIBS-ING states on Twitter. It's time to lock the old man's account.

Even Fox News is being semi-honest about what's going on, Jesus.

5:27: Good.

Leaves more room for Joe Biden's victory speech. And yes, we thiiiiiiiink Biden is going to cross that threshold tonight. We'll be here for the long haul, albeit with less frequent updates.

5:43: Trump's margin in Georgia down to 59K.

6:04: Two things, both reported by Jim Acosta:


Watch how fast GOP senators stop caring about Trump, now that it looks like they (probably) kept the (fundamentally undemocratic) Senate (that should be abolished).

6:07: Oh by the way, Abigail Spanberger held on to her House seat in Virginia. That was a nailbiter, but we are happy, especially with all the Dem losses in the House.

By the way, can we get some quick perspective, because of how Trump's bullshit and slow counting is kind of dampening things? Unless something drastically changes, Joe Biden just won more votes in the history of US America, will unseat an incumbent president for the first time in forever, which is rare, and the vice president of the United States will be a Black woman.

And there's more than that. We all wanted a giant repudiation from the American people. We wanted to feel like actually 2016 was a terrible fluke (and in some ways it was) and that the American people are actually fundamentally good.

Well. The results on that are mixed. We have a fucked up Electoral College system, but Biden is beating the shit out of Trump by the vote of the people, by more than Hillary Clinton did. The House is gerrymandered to fuck (by Republicans) and the Senate is designed to give slave-owners and Wyoming cows more political power than California citizens.

Our problems are structural, in large part.

But unless something drastically changes, we are kicking the fucker out of the White House. For real.

6:16: A local news source that numbers watchers say is pretty much the Michigan gold standard is calling the Senate race for Gary Peters. Look for AP and other calls to follow, we imagine.


6:35: Pssssst. Biden is going to win Pennsylvania.

7:19: Though the New York Times should be spanked in its bottom with a big stick for calling the White House "Trump Headquarters," this palace intrigue from Maggie Haberman on how much Trump lost his shit when Fox News called Arizona is just great:

Mr. Trump and his advisers erupted at the news. If it was true that Arizona was lost, it would call into doubt on any claim of victory the president might be able to make.


That said, Fox might still retract the call under pressure from its White House Whinyass Boss, but it'll just have to call it again a bit later.

7:25: By the way, Biden is now up almost two points in Michigan.

7:29: Uh oh. Trump's lead in GA just shrunk to 47K. And Fulton County (Atlanta) says it's going to finish tonight.

(When we said "Uh oh," we meant like we were saying it to Donald Trump's face, to make him fly into a rage-cry.)

7:49: Joe Biden's lead in the vote of the people is now over 3.5 million.

8:55: Hi, Becca again, remember me from 24 hours yesterday? Good times. Evan had to make important journey to "grocery store" and asked me to update as appropriate, so: Georgia is down to 40,000 votes separating Trump from Biden, according to television.

Okay bye! I will be back if Evan isn't but he probably will be!

Well, when Evan's away, the mouse will play, look what we just made!

Haha we win.

9:13: OK hi Evan again. Back from "grocery store." And Maricopa County ballots are starting to come in. You know, the ones the Trump campaign has been holding out hopes on, and the Biden campaign is like "nah it's fine."

We will see. First thing we are seeing is that it's going to be close, Jesus, everything about this election is so fucking 2020.

9:39: Arizona is going to be a photo finish, y'all, looks like. More numbers from Maricopa later.

But you should know that as they keep counting like eager beavers in PA, Trump's lead is down to 193K.

Also did y'all SEE those braindead Trump idiots in Michigan chanting "Stop the count" at a moment when Trump was already losing Michigan? Like, OK, morons, if you insist!

9:58: Here is about where Georgia is and what's out:

As of now, Trump's lead is actually down to about 37.5K.

And Trump's lead in PA is down to about 186.5K and let's just say all the election numbers dorks on Twitter are like um, yeah, Biden is doing this.

10:08: To underscore the point, Fox News still has AZ in Biden's column, and so does AP, and it very well may stay there. MSNBC and the rest have Biden at 253 EV, without Arizona called yet. Pennsylvania is moving. And it sure does look like it's going to become real clear, maybe real soon, that Biden won PA. Networks might even call it tonight.

That's ballgame.

Oh yeah, and Trump's margin in GA is down to 34K. And David Perdue is about to slip below 50 percent, which means VOTE YOUR OSSOFF, because we're going to a second runoff in GA on January 5.

10:18: LOVING the number of jokes people are making right now on TV and on Twitter about how you can tell how unserious the Trump campaign's legal whining is by how Rudy Giuliani is the lead lawyer on it. That is not how you do real lawsuits.

10:55: Trump margin down to 31K in GA.

Also do you follow me on Twitter? Because if you do not, you are missing out. Like, right now, Mr. Dave Wasserman Cook Political Report man is like WAAAAAAH, I don't have to say the thing about "I've seen enough" and be the first to say Joe Biden won PA even though everybody knows it. So I just pointed out that I'll fuckin' say it.

Follow me for great content like this, and more! (And by "more" I mean "nudes." OR DO I?)


11:33: We have reached the point of the night where Brian Williams asks how Democrats became the "Whole Foods party" when he is just pretty sure America is a "Piggly Wiggly country" and Claire McCaskill's answer features the words "transsexuals" and "meat and potatoes."

11:51: Oh goddammit, the platform ate the tweet in our last update and since it does that 48 times a day and we are on day two of staying up all night to do OUR JOB we are just going to do a new update and delete the old one, because guess what we don't have time to do? Fix shit that our platform fucks up.

By the way, Joe Biden has officially won the most votes of any candidate in human American history. Have we mentioned that?

11:56: OK kiddos, this is the point where we move away from the computer and go sit on the couch and eat pizza, but if there is a surprise call we will come back to you.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

GIVE IT WONKETTE. We mean money. Thank you.

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc