Racism-Enabling GOP Psychos Denouncing Anti-Semitism!
It's The Sunday Show Rundown!!
Let's begin our Sunday show rundown this week with Republican "strategist" and Mr. "
Kamala Harris/Cory Booker/Obama black primary" himself, Alex Castellanos. On ABC's "This Week" with George Stephanopoulos Martha Raddatz, the panel began with a discussion about Ilhan Omar's unfortunately worded comments about Israel, and Nancy Pelosi's decision to focus a House resolution on denouncing hate and bigotry in all its forms. The vote itself received bipartisan support in condemnation of hate ... except for 24 Republicans.
While many sensible people would see this as a larger victory in condemning hate, Alex Castellanos is NOT one of these people:
Judge Jeanine Too Bigotty Even For Fox
Pirro accuses Rep. Ilhan Omar of dual loyalty.
Saturday, during the opening monologue of her Fox News show, "Judge" Jeanine Pirro took aim at the Right's current favorite target, the "very scary" Rep. Ilhan Omar. She wondered what set the congresswoman apart from others in the "Democrat Party," who she believed aren't collectively "anti-Israel" like she claims Omar is. Pirro suggested the answer rested on top of Omar's pretty Muslim head.
PIRRO: Think about it. Omar wears a hijab, which according to the Quran 33:59, tells women to cover so they won't get molested. Is her adherence to this Islamic doctrine indicative of her adherence to Sharia law, which in itself is antithetical to the United States Constitution?
Pirro is presumably a judge of more than just beauty pageants and hot-dog eating contests. She should understand that the First Amendment of the Constitution protects the right of a Muslim politician or even a random American citizen to wear a hijab, a yarmulke, or even a nun's wimple. Pirro basically accused Omar of having a "dual loyalty," which is the exact same anti-Semitic trope everyone has denounced Omar herself for invoking.
Trump Autographing Bibles In Alabama, So ... Um ... HAVE A BLESSED F*CKIN' WEEKEND, Y'ALL!
If Obama had ...
Hey, big Friday news, and it's that former Fox News idiot Bill Shine is the latest White House comms director to become a former White House comms director, but that's not what we're here to talk about. We already knew the White House comms department was a barren wasteland of incompetence and regret, and had a feeling Shine wouldn't last long anyway.
We need to talk about what ELSE happened today, which is that Donald Trump flew to Alabama to meet with tornado survivors, like a normal president would, and while there he ... um ... well, he autographed the tornado survivors' ... Bibles? Also like a totally normal president would?
And yes, this has been confirmed by other reporters, so it's not just Josh Dawsey FAKE NEWSIN'.
As Yr Wonkette's resident scholar of Bible, we have questions. Like ...
24 Republicans Vote For Hatred
Ilhan Omar, you get back here right now!
The House voted yesterday on a resolution condemning anti-Semitism and bigotry of all kinds, like anti-Muslim hatred and white supremacy. The measure passed overwhelmingly, but was opposed by 23 Republicans because of their very deep principles, most of which amounted to the principle that Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minnesota) needed to be the sole focus of condemnation because she's the only source of hatred in America today. Oh, yes, and one brave R, white nationalist Steve King of Iowa, bravely voted "present," because darned if you're going to trap him into supporting a condemnation of hatred. Let's take a tour of the very good reasons some Republicans gave for opposing a resolution opposing hatred, shall we?
Several of those who opposed the resolution were quite clear about their reason: This was supposed to be a chance to accuse Ilhan Omar of hating all Jews because she said some really clumsy stupid things about how she was being required to vow "allegiance to a foreign country" -- which is true, in that we are literally outlawing a boycott of Israel, Texas is literally requiring anyone who contracts with it to vow allegiance to Israel, etc. -- but with words that evoke a stereotype (that Jews have a "dual allegiance") that was directly addressed in the text of the resolution. But that doesn't count because the resolution didn't specifically condemn Omar. Wyoming Republican Liz Cheney called the resolution a "sham" for not censuring Omar by name, and claimed it proves the entire party is now "controlled by far-left extremists who can't even muster the courage to stand up to blatant anti-Semitism." You know, as long as you ignore the multiple parts of the resolution condemning anti-Semitism in very specific terms.
Nancy Pelosi Takes GOP Demand To Condemn Muslim Lady, Turns It On Their Charlottesville Asses
Wingnuts: Condemning all bigots 'watered down' the resolution.
You probably heard the calls for the ritual disembowelment of Rep. Ilhan Omar, who has an unfortunate habit of criticizing Israel in language that reeks of anti-Semitic tropes. The House is now scheduled to vote on a resolution condemning anti-Semitism, but that sneaky Nancy Pelosi went and turned the resolution into a condemnation of all the many hatreds that have recently infected American politics. How is that even fair? This was supposed to reflect Democrats' DEEP RIFTS over how to deal with the only bigot in America, a single freshman Democrat from Minnesota, not an opportunity to reaffirm so-called American values! Guess maybe Pelosi isn't about to be overthrown after all; sorry, Fox News.
The resolution is a serious, detailed criticism of the rise of hatred in recent American politics, affirming the value of the First Amendment and freedom of religion, then drilling down into the wheareases:
Jerry Falwell Jr. To Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: I Didn't Threaten To Shoot Muslims, I Just Threatened To Shoot YOU!
Our own personal Jesus.
False prophet Jerry Falwell Jr. has Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in his sights. Last week, during CPAC, Falwell threatened to shoot the congresswoman if she "came for his cows." For the record, Barack Obama was never going to take away people's guns and Ocasio-Cortez is not the Hamburglar. She has spoken about the need to address factory farming and perhaps reduce our meat consumption. Those are both fairly mainstream proposals to combat climate change. Only idiots would think Ocasio-Cortez wants to ban burgers. However, Falwell was on a panel with Donald Trump Jr., so there was idiocy to spare.
One Million Moms Sh*t The Bed Over A Freakin' Cottonelle Commercial.
They will NOT be using any toilet paper used by gay men, ok?
You know how sometimes you hear stories about soldiers who got lost and never heard about a war ending, and so just kept fighting it for decades after it was over? If there is a cultural equivalent to that in America, it is the Nowhere Close To One Million Moms, an organization that seems to exist solely for the purpose of yelling at commercials and TV shows for featuring gay people or mentioning the word "sex."
A few weeks ago, Cottonelle launched a commercial for its flushable wipes featuring a gay couple, which is a pretty normal thing in this day and age, and not much of a thing to bat an eyelash at unless you are a giant freaking weirdo.
Cottonelle® DownThereCare: Meet His Parents TV Spot youtu.be
As is tradition, the One Million Moms and also some randos on the internet are VERY UPSET about this, because they had been laboring under the belief that toilet paper and flushable wipes were for straights only, and that gay people used like, leaves or something for butt-wiping purposes.
Poor Russ! How is his toilet paper going to feel special if gay people can use it too?
The Probably About Five Or So Moms have also launched a petition to let Cottonelle know that they are not happy with this commercial, or with another one featuring kids talking about flushable wipes. So far, it has been signed by the last 7,503 people in the world who are still mad about Ellen.
To Cottonelle:
I urge Cottonelle and Kimberly-Clark Corporation to clean up your advertising. I was highly disappointed in your Commando ads, but now I am extremely offended that Cottonelle is both exploiting children and choosing to promote the normalization of homosexuality. Companies should be extremely cautious when casting minors in commercials. And with your product, it would safe to refrain from using children at all. It would also be wise to remain neutral on the controversial issue of homosexuality. I implore Cottonelle to stop producing inappropriate marketing campaigns and cancel commercials including children and controversial topics such as homosexuality immediately.
Of course, toilet paper commercials are not the only thing that's got the panties of the 12 Angry Dipshits in a bunch. They are also mad at a Walmart commercial that features a gay couple:
Walmart recently posted a video ad on its Facebook page of two homosexuals on a blind date. Unfortunately, the retail giant has decided to cave and be politically correct instead of remaining neutral on controversial issues. Founder, Sam Walton, would have never approved of this decision to promote the homosexual agenda.
The video ad normalizing the LGBT lifestyle is titled: "Love Is In The Aisle: A dating show at Walmart, episode 2." The ad features Pat and Andy meeting at Walmart and shopping while getting to know each other. Walmart also interviews Pat and Andy after their date.
Instead of remaining neutral in the culture war, Walmart decided to offend many of their conservative customers with their new video. You may view the video here if you have a Facebook login. Or if you do not use Facebook, the video description we provided hopefully will suffice.
And an ad for POM juice that, uh, mentions the word sex? And has a person doing yoga?
The newest POM Wonderful Antioxidant drink ad includes a woman doing yoga while the "Worry Monster" mascot talks to viewers.
"As Julie's Worry Monster, I couldn't wait for her 50th birthday," the monster says. "But instead of worrying, she does yoga and drinks POM. I thought we'd have more girls' nights reading the internet about diseases we could have. Don't even get me started on her sex life. It's perfect!"
As if that isn't disgusting enough, the description the company posted on YouTube reads: "Julie got healthy and started drinking POM Wonderful. Now her Worry Monster's worried about what's gotten into her."
Yeah, I don't know either.
Additionally, they're mad about a new show on TBS in which Steve Buscemi is playing God, which is weird because I would actually consider religion if Steve Buscemi were God. That would be pretty awesome! OH, and they're mad at Family Guy, because sure, why not?
They are also mad at Parents magazine for featuring a gay couple on the cover.
This agenda will be a deal breaker for most conservative families, so, with this information, many of our supporters and families may choose to cancel their subscription to Parents. After all, most conservative and Christian families will disagree morally with the magazine's decision, and subsequently, will not want to support its content.
Parents is the latest print media company to abandon what it does best in order to force a lifestyle on the American public that the medical community identifies as unhealthy. Rather than focusing on parenting tips, the publication shames Americans into embracing such a lifestyle.
And what "medical community" would that be?
LADIES (and Russ). Gay people are not "controversial." They exist! Companies cannot "remain neutral" on the existence of gay people anymore than Switzerland is still neutral in the World Wars. Like, the World Wars aren't happening anymore, and neither is this particular culture war. It is time to move on.
Besides. We all know that the most truly offensive toilet paper commercials are the ones with those smug ass bears.
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Marco Rubio REALLY Wants To Make A Venezuelan Snuff Film
It's almost as if he's trying to say something. BUT WHAT?
Senator Marco Rubio had a fine old time Sunday calling for a military coup in Venezuela, and suggesting it would be super-neato if that country's president, Nicolás Maduro, could be summarily executed like in any good revolution. He didn't actually say that, of course! That would be undiplomatic behavior for a US senator! Instead, Rubio just tweeted a whole bunch of explicit calls for Maduro to be toppled, and then a few very cryptic before-and-after images of notorious dictators who ended up dead, or in one case, in prison. Tweeting out bloody fantasies of retribution sure seems like a perfectly cromulent way to observe the Lord's day. For a sociopath.
Checkmate, Libs: 7 Morons From Kansas Decide Gay People Are A Religion!
Which by their rules mean gay people can do ANYTHING? But ... not?
It has been over three-and-a-half years since the Supreme Court found, in Obergefell v. Hodges, that gay people have the right to marry. Most people who were opposed to this, we thought, have since gotten their divorces (because of how unspecial their marriages feel now) and moved on to yelling at trans people for going to the bathroom. And yet there are still a few holdouts, searching in the shadows for a perfect, unassailable legal argument that will reverse everything and make everything go back to the way it used to be. Back when they could look themselves in the mirror and say, "Look at you! You may not be smart, or funny, or talented in any way -- but you are legally better than an entire group of people! The law says you are special!"
Or, you know, whatever the hell is they got out of it, I don't know.
Anyway, some lawmakers in Kansas think they've finally created a bill with a genius legal argument that would not only allow them to ban same-sex marriage again, but also make it legal to discriminate against all LGBTQ people, keep trans people out of bathrooms, eliminate any government funding for gender-affirming medical treatment, and keep drag queens out of library story time. That legal argument is that LGBTQ people are actually a religion, and that by giving them the same rights as everyone else, the United States is violating the establishment clause of the First Amendment. Strange, given that people of their ilk usually deny that such a clause even exists. Plus the fact that they usually believe (and a rightwing Supreme Court has agreed) that "religion" usually means you can do whatever the hell you want. We are going out on a limb that these people are not great "thinkers."
Let's All Die Of Measles, Again!
More outbreaks, more anti-vaxxers pissing us off.
America has another batch of measles outbreaks on its hands, as well as its arms, face, back, and everywhere else. And as usual, the disease is spreading in areas where large numbers of people have opted not to get their kids vaccinated against childhood diseases that should have been eliminated decades ago. Hooray for the internet and gullible people! To add to the stupidity, rightwing idiots are spreading misinformation about measles and vaccines, because they love nothing more than going viral.
The two worst current outbreaks are in Washington (the state) and in New York (also the state). In Clark County in southern Washington, just across the Columbia river from Portland, Oregon, 53 people have been diagnosed, most of them children. Four other cases have been confirmed in Oregon's Multnomah County, as well as at least one case in King County, which includes Seattle. The Clark County outbreak was caused by an international traveler to the area, whose infection rapidly spread because the county has lots and lots of unvaccinated kids.
Laura Ingraham Finally In Favor Of Religious Headgear
Church of the Poison Mind.
In a Very Special Episode of the Laura Ingraham program yesterday, the Fox News host offered a plaintive cry for tolerance and acceptance, at least as long as it's for people who completely agree with her, because have you noticed how mean and intolerant liberals are nowadays? She fretted that "it's now gotten so bad in America that wearing a Trump hat is basically considered a hate crime." Then Ingraham cited all the arrests of people wearing those hats for hate crimes, or at least she would have, if anyone were actually being arrested over their dumb hats.
Still, she has a point: A lot of people think unkind thoughts when they see those hats, and truly, it is very unfair "to brand an entire belief system as immoral, evil, toxic, and of course it's racist." We have certainly made plenty of jokes about how Trumpism is a faith-based system of belief in the Holy One who is always right, but it's a bit surprising to see an actual adherent of the Church of MAGA admit it.
Trump To Bring Profound Misunderstanding Of Abortion Laws To State Of The Union Address
This should be interesting!
This Tuesday, Donald Trump will be giving his dumb State of the Union speech that no one cares about -- and according to Politico, he's going to be talking about abortion. Not like, actual abortion, mind you, but a kind of abortion conservatives have recently invented in which an expectant mother is having a bad day, gives birth, and then the doctor stabs a perfectly good baby in the head for no reason other than pure cruelty and blood thirst.
This is likely in response to two recent pieces of legislation in New York and Virginia that the Right has been super ginned up about the past week.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Confirms God Colluded With Russia To Elect Trump
Huge, if true.
Donald Trump has long enjoyed overwhelming support from evangelical Christians, but that support has slipped a little over the past few weeks. A recent NBC News poll shows Trump's approval among evangelicals has dropped from 73 percent in December to a still ridiculous 66 percent in January. Maybe religious conservatives are slowly discovering that Trump is a lying sack of garbage. This is a concerning trend for Trump's re-election prospects.
White House press hack Sarah Huckabee Sanders set out this week to rally the flock behind the wolf in shepherd's clothing. During an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Sanders pointed out that God Himself was a major donor to Trump's 2016 campaign and still stands by the president.
SANDERS: I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that he wanted Donald Trump to become president, and that's why he's there.
God selecting a thrice-married, adulterous failed casino owner to carry out His works on earth is a weird choice, but God is also reportedly responsible for the platypus and the work of Jackson Pollock. Who can figure Him? This also poses the philosophical conundrum of whether God could create an election He Himself could not fix without Russia's help.
InfoWars Saw Goody Beto Busting Out Of His Sexxxy Devil Sheep Costume
Sometimes a man in a sheep onesie is just a man in a sheep onesie.
Did you guys see that funny video Mother Jones found of Beto O'Rourke dressed up in a smokin' tight onesie and a sheep mask doing "Blitzkrieg Bop" by the Ramones? It is a fun video!
Onesie-wearing Beto O'Rourke sings The Ramones in newly unearthed video www.youtube.com
This was years after Beto was in a band called Foss and he looked like the hot guy on the left because he was the hot guy on the left:
As you can see, he had cut his luscious locks by the time the sheep thing happened. So instead he looked like this:
Side view 'cause we like you. Take as long as you need with the pictures.
Mother Jones explains the back story, which is that in 2003 and 2004, Beto was in this one band called The Sheeps, which was supposed to be a famous band from New Zealand, but the joke was that The Sheeps didn't exist -- it was just Beto and his friends! And they had to dress up like very sexxxy sheeps, so nobody would know The Sheeps were FAKE NEWS!
MAGA Brats Defend Blackface, So That's Where The US Is Today
And Mitch McConnell is weeping for them on the Senate floor.
This weekend, the Soros-funded Left tried to destroy the lives of some fine young men from Covington Catholic School in Kentucky by forcing them to wear MAGA hats in public and act like jerks. It's only been a few days, but it's still an open question whether they can ever fully recover their simple lives of attempting to control women's bodies.
The National Review's David French lamented their plight in yet another whiny ballad for the oppressed white dude. He writes:
Last year, conservative wives looked at the furious attack on Kavanaugh and thought, "That could be my husband." Now conservative moms look at the wild attempt to destroy the Covington kids and think, "That could be my son."
Poor Brett Kavanaugh! Condemned to serve on the nation's highest court for all eternity. They say he wanders the halls of the Supreme Court, chains rattling behind him as he whispers, "Transgender soldiers nevermore!" What horrible fate awaits the Covington kids? Maybe an Arby's-catered dinner at the White House? Or better yet, a full-court press junket designed to scrub and sanitize.
Nick Sandmann, the student featured in the original viral video, sat down for an interview this morning with Savannah Guthrie from the "Today" show. His agent deserves props. He wasn't even nominated for an Academy Award. Sandmann felt like the world had judged him based "off one expression," and he wanted to demonstrate that he's more than just "Blue Steel."
Forget Trump. Let's Have Some NICE THINGS.
Or at least move him to the background. We've got cool history and computers being strange (by design).
It's Sunday, and that means it's time for a break from the ongoing grind of awfulness out there. Let's dive into some cool, funny, thoughtful stuff to fortify ourselves before we get back to the daily madness, shall we?
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