Religion

Trump Thinks Religious People Are Chumps. But They Think He's The Second Coming. Go Figure.

Sent by God ... to mock Mormon undergarments.

As the GOP revs up to accuse Democrats of hating Catholics, nay all religious people, in defense of a Supreme Court nominee who may have difficulty keeping her personal faith out of her judicial decisions, The Atlantic is out with yet another reminder that Trump himself views religion as a total scam.

"They're all hustlers," Trump laughed to Michael Cohen in 2015 over an article describing megachurch pastor Creflo Dollar's efforts to raise money from the faithful for a new jet. He managed not to giggle when those same "hustlers" were laying hands on him to imbue him with the Holy Spirit, though.

"His view was 'I've been talking to these people for years; I've let them stay at my hotels—they're gonna endorse me. I played the game,'" a campaign advisor told The Atlantic's McKay Coppins. And when it came to Jerry Falwell Jr., he was apparently right.

Trump reportedly admired the "racket" of faith healer Benny Hinn, and deeply respected Joel Osteen's massive television audience. Like recognizes like.

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News

Normal Minnesotans Oddly Unreceptive To Random Weirdass QAnon Mailings

You idiot! You were supposed to be redpilled, not repelled.

Some dipshit in Minnesota is mailing out packets of photos of QAnon memes to normies in the Minneapolis area, seemingly at random. But instead of leading the recipients to realize that the world is secretly run by a cabal of cannibal pedophiles, the mailings have mostly just left folks squicked out, as the Intercept reports. On Monday, a fellow in the Minneapolis suburb of St. Louis Park found an envelope filled with 15 color glossy photographs of hard-hitting Q memes (albeit without any circles or arrows or a paragraph on the back of each one explainin' what each one was). One was about adrenochrome, the made-up pedo cannibal drug supposedly extracted from murdered children. And another

was a handwritten list of conspiracy-driven YouTube channels, including X22 Report and Alice Down the Rabbit Hole.

"The Battle Between Good and [EVIL]," read a third image. "Where to start is the Question?"

The fellow, Luke Healy, got on Nextdoor, the social media app, to ask if anyone else had received the weirdass photos, and yes, several people had.

In a post titled "Creepy photos in the mail," he noted the expense involved in the apparent prank. The photos were printed on premium digital paper, and the envelope bore three stamps. "At least they're supporting the USPS," he joked.

We like this guy.

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SCOTUS

Is 'Handmaid's Tale' Judge Literally ENDORSED BY GOD? These Wackjobs Think So!

More on the movement behind Amy Coney Barrett, who has been reportedly endorsed by Jesus.

Let's see, where did we leave off with the story of Amy Coney Barrett, who is reportedly Donald Trump's favorite Worst Woman On The Planet to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Oh yes, the Catholic Jesus club she belongs to, People of Praise, is the exact same kind of extremist Catholic/Pentecostal crossover group that inspired the Margaret Atwood novel (and recently TV show!) called The Handmaid's Tale.

Indeed, back in the olden timey days, before the book, women in that group who mentored/monitored the single women were called the "handmaidens," but then they changed that at some point because kinda bad look, y'all.

The creepy Christian theocratic shit with Amy Coney Barrett, who does not respect stare decisis (judicial precedent) if she thinks a case was decided wrongly, and who thinks her religious beliefs are more important than the law, does not stop with how her Catholic Jesus Scout Troop appears to share some important parallels with The Handmaid's Tale.

Right Wing Watch reports on a group of dominionist self-styled "prophets" who held an event this week where they declared Coney Barrett has been ANOINTED BY GOD. It was hosted by Frank Amedia, who was literally Trump's "Christian policy adviser" in 2016 — you know, in case you were wondering if these people had a seat of the table or if they're just a bunch of mouthbreathing loons. They are both.

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SCOTUS

Is Amy Coney Barrett's Catholic Jesus Batsh*t Cult Literally 'The Handmaid's Tale'?

We are just asking.

We don't know if Donald Trump is going to nominate Amy Coney Barrett, who is literally batshit, to stinky up the seat of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, one of the greatest justices to ever sit on the Supreme Court. But if he does, all the Handmaid's Tale jokes will officially be too real.

When Coney Barrett sat for her confirmation hearing to the federal judiciary's Seventh Circuit seat she is currently stinky-ing up, California Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein memorably said to her, "the dogma lives loudly within you." Coney Barrett is the insane kind of Catholic. She has stated publicly that "life begins at conception," which is funny if you know anything about science and how well that fertilized egg survives in the wild if it fails to implant. She doesn't necessarily believe in observing precedent, if she thinks the case was decided incorrectly. (Hi, Roe v. Wade. How you hangin' on?)

She believes her (batshit) religious beliefs are more important than the law, when it comes to deciding cases. She doesn't even think the Miranda decision (no not Lin Manuel, the "Law & Order" thing where you get read your rights) was very good.

She's real bad at this. And batshit.

Before Trump nominated Coney Barrett to the Seventh Circuit, she had never been a judge before. Sure, why not put that fucking idiot on the Supreme Court? (Because she's only 48 and could potentially skullfuck America for 50 years if confirmed.)

Oh yeah, and this dumbass is also a longstanding member of the same type of Catholic Jesus club that was literally the inspiration for The Handmaid's Tale.

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