Remainders: Celebrities and Substitutions Edition

Campaign Journal breaks it down: "Number of times Kerry said of Affeck, 'he turned wuss on me all of a sudden': 1. . . Number of times Teresa Heinz Kerry, speaking here in Jefferson City, added 'not yet' after saying Americans 'don't have to fear' being 'hung from a lamp post' or 'shot': 3" [TNR]

"fundit (fun'-dit) n. A scholar or learned person who disseminates witty criticism; a source of humorous expertise: Bill Maher will never be the fundit Jon Stewart is." [WOW Report]

The index of "The 9/11 Commission Report," a more concise but equally depressing approach: "Clarke, Richard. . . finds Tom Clancy novels more useful than the intelligence community, 347." [n+1]

Alan Keyes bodily fluids, now at $242.50. "This sale is on behalf of an individual Alan Keyes supporter but not affiliated directly with the Keyes' campaign." [eBay]

The Illinois GOP's other options: Shannen Doherty, Farnsworth Bentley, and Dave Eggers, author of "An Act of Extreme and Utter Contempt for the Hallowed Halls of Congress, and These Are Things Which We Do Not Do, for They Are Not Honorable, and I Have Been Orphaned." [low culture]


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