Remainders: First DNC-Related Liver Failure Imminent

· Bill and Hill work the DNC's drunken rooms: basically, he's her bitch at this point. [NYP]


· WaPo's Reliable Source Richard Leiby admits over cocktails that he'd rather "cover post-war Baghdad" than the gossip up in Boston. [Gawker]

· Valet/pimp/drinking buddy needed for 24-year-old "new to DC" Ivy League idiot. [Craigslist post deleted, reproduced after the jump.]

· Weekly Standard dude tries to infiltrate Emily's List women's-only breakfast at DNC, fails, remains bitter, deluded, un-laid. [Weekly Standard]

"Rescued" from Craigslist:

24 year old Ivy Grad from Cali, new to DC, looking for an assistant

Reply to: job-37572688@craigslist.org

Date: 2004-07-27, 9:51AM EDT

My company is promoting me and relocating me to DC; I arrive on Tuesday (TOMORROW) and stay in a hotel until the end of the month. I don't know a soul, need to find an apartment, and need LOTS of help getting situated (unpacking, shopping, meeting people, getting to

know DC, etc.), working from 8am-8pm all the while! I'm being given a very

generous $5000 relocation allowance for miscellaneous expenses (in addition to

having all my hotels/airfare/moving service paid for).

I'm only 24, I don't have a wife and kids, so it's not like I have that many

other miscellaneous expenses... SO, I am willing to pay most of this $5000 (or

all, depending on how much you'd be willing to do) to a fun assistant who

doesn't have many commitments to help me find the ideal apartment, unpack my

boxes and organize my closet while I'm at work and show me aound in the

evenings. Perhaps you could also introduce me to all your single girlfriends (maybe you're a sorority girl?), help me figure out what bars/clubs I like, etc.? Basically, I want my transition to be totally seamless... even less hassles than going on a vacation, and maybe even more fun than going on vacation!?

The compensation can be on the generous end (as much as $5000) if you find me a no-fee apartment and save me a $2500+ broker's fee, if you are willing to use your car to run lots of errands and save me a week of car rental and parking, if you are willing to do all my interior decorating, help me pick out furniture, open all my boxes, organize my closet, help me get my social life in order, and assist me in throwing a few dinner parties at the very end of the two week stint, maybe even a few pool parties. If you are willing to do all that and more, it would be a full time (plus overtime) 2-week commitment and it would be worth $5000. Anything less is worth less, so tell me what you're willing to do and how much you'd want to be paid for it.

Ideally, you would be between 20-25, outgoing, and very resourceful. This is perfect for an outgoing college student who has the next two weeks off and wants to make a lot of money in a short amount of time)

About me: Cali native, Harvard graduate, above average looking (5'11, 170# tan,

toned, dark features), athletic and preppy dude who likes to surf and snowboard, works very hard, but plays even harder:)

Tell me about yourself, to what extent you could assist me over the next two

weeks (i.e., what your other commitments are and what sorts of tasks you're

willing to take on), and send a pic. I'll reply with a pic and my number and we

can set up an interview and go from there...

Also indicate:

1. What part of DC you live in (and all the parts you've lived in previously)

2. Whether you have a car (or at least a driver's license)

3. Age, degrees earned, where you went to school (or currently go to school)

4. Current commitments (work, social, volunteer, religious)

5. Where you are from originally

6. Approximately how much compensation you are looking for and what tasks you would accomplish for that amount

7. Political party affiliation (I'm not political at all and am tolerant of both D's and R's!)

8. Social affiliations (i.e., clubs, sororities, churches, organizations, etc.)

9. Favorite alcoholic beverage

Job location is Georgetown, NW DC

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Compensation: $5000 for two weeks

This is a part-time job.

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.

Please, no phone calls about this job!

Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Reposting this message elsewhere is OK.

37572688

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