• "We, the Unicorns of America, are very heartfully dedicated to ousting George W. Bush from the White House. . . we believe that electing John Kerry in November will allow us to return to the very happy, magical state to which we are accustomed." [Unicorns Against the Bush]
• Hill Zoo columnists: Targets of mockery or reasons to fear for our government's future? "Everyone has that one friend that is forgetful. . . I started to tell her it’s because of the post [sic] and she should stop it and that would unfog her memory. Now, she really didn’t smoke it, but it was always good for a laugh. Naturally, I wasn’t flirting with her, but I was teasing." [Teasing = Flirting = Teasing = Flirting]
• Judith Miller's prison to-do list: "Dig for biological weapons under cafeteria floor." [Gawker]
• Shorter Republican National Convention. [GOP Convention]
• Best. Romenesko. Headline. Ever.: "Fineman believes Bush once gave him a frat handshake." [Romenesko]