Remembering Our Fallen Week: Falling Into Godspell
- Yahweh (The Comedy God) gifted America with our newest, HOTTEST reincarnation of Ronald Reagan, the Elvin princess Christine O’Donnell.
- After losing her freshly minted angel wings (to witchcraft), Xtine became Christianity’s official Mistress of Masturbation, banning all forms of self-pleasure, except for self-tanning, due to heavy pressure from John Boehner.
- Wonkette's Riley Waggaman wrote a kill & tell about smushing Andrew Breitbart in an upcoming Liz Glover-produced fetish flick.
- South Carolina Republicans traveled back in time to an era when men were men and blacks were slaves.
- Glenn Beck told his viewers not to die from consuming too much RC Cola and Hot Pockets, even though fusing into your couch VOLTRON-style is as American as Apple Pie and Colonial Williamsburg, which he also hates.