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Remembering Our Fallen Week: Fillet of the Union

News


  • The president recited some old Reagan speech for the State of the Union. It was very well received, especially by the salmon-American population.
  • Blind prophet Michele Bachmann spoke in tongues for six-and-a-half whole minutes following Obama's Reagan speech, gazing into the very essence of the iChat.

  • An errant olive-pit awakened Dennis Kucinich's litigious tendencies.

  • Unemployed curmudgeon Keith Olbermann was encouraged to take his unfocused rage-pageant to Capitol Hill.

  • The star of Fat Bitch and Honky Grandma Be Trippin' revealed Sarah Palin's fleshy carapace to be an erotic object of the highest order.

  • The tea party fought back against those tyrannical Taiwanese animators with a brand new web series of hott virtual news reports.

  • Meth-gay and reality-teevee star Ted Haggard revealed he would gobble the pole and the hole, if only he were young.

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If there is anything that right-wing men seem to love, it is paying lots and lots of money to other dudes who will tell them how to live and/or function.

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Screenshot- Laura Ingraham Show

According to Rachel Campos Duffy, former reality TV personality and current Fox News personality, migrant baby jails are better than the "Projects". And she totally knows this for fact because she has a "black friend" who told her so. This totally mysterious black friend enlightened her on the horrors faced by black people in black places, which makes it perfectly okay for Trumpco to lock away those "privileged" brown babies. Also, stop being mean to her for spewing that hot garbage on the Laura Ingraham (who believes baby jails are like "Summer Camp") show, because it's not fair that you refuse to believe she has a black friend.

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