Remembering Our Fallen Week: Reading the Bones
The culture industry absorbed the potentially-mentally-ill candidate Basil Marceaux into its oily cogs. Now that Basil is just another big wig, who will stand up against America’s #1 enemy, gold-fringed flags?
Dr. Rand Paul prescribed emergency circumcisions for all of Kentucky’s mountaintops.
The United Nations’ creeping tendrils wormed their way into Denver, Colorado, where Gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes EXPOSED the UN's secret mind-control device, the bicycle.
The most important Italian in the world after Super Mario had a massive hooker-threesome but no one noticed.
America's never-ending primary season continued in Michigan, Missouri, and Kansas.
Dr. Kevin Pezzi, a cancer mage and penis enchanter, disapperated from the Breitbart blog when his ill deeds were discovered in the entrails of a slaughtered heifer, via Google.
Ayn Rand’s Bang Bus dropped by your Wonkette's offices; they offered us a ride but in a terrible act of Socialism, they dropped us off without a dime after some very crude sex acts.