Donate

Image via Dr. Mike'sYouTube campaign video


People of Utah, did you know you are under threat by monstrous hazards that lurk behind gleaming facades, endangering your very life under the diabolical ruse of helping you avoid death? There could even be one of these hulking terrors right in your own neighborhood.  Fortunately, there is a kindly doctorman fighting to protect you from these deathtraps, these hospitals, by making sure you don't have access to them. That man is Dr. Mike, J.D., also known as state Rep. Michael S. Kennedy of Utah's 27th House District.

During a meeting of the Health Reform Task Force (which, luckily for all of Utah, Dr. Mike is there to steer in the right direction), a visiting doctor recounted a story of a man who had an extremely rare but serious reaction to pain medication while being treated for injuries from a car accident. Dr. Mike, who we reiterate is a practicing medical doctor himself, took this as rock-solid evidence to support his assertion that it is access to hospitals that is killing people, and the best thing for patients to do is just stay out of these places altogether (and, presumably, let Dr. Mike come to your house instead).

Sometimes access to health care can actually be damaging and dangerous, and it's a perspective for the [legislative] body to consider is that I've heard from National Institutes of Health and otherwise we're killing up to a million, a million and a half people every year in our hospitals and it's access to hospitals that's killing those people.

So who is this hero standing between an unsuspecting public and the scourge of doctors and their death chambers? According to his campaign video, Mike Kennedy was thrown into poverty by his parents' divorce when he was seven years old, but learned that "sound fiscal management" can save you from "debt and bondage," so, silver lining? Also, cute kids are not afraid to let him use a stethoscope on them.

Mike is a triple threat: freshman legislator, Brigham Young law graduate, and family doctor. (Back off, Husband Hunters -- he's taken!) And you can tell he is a man of conviction, since his offensive against hospitals and wider war on Obamacare line up exactly with his overall philosophy that any help you give anyone will only hurt them, especially if that help has even a whiff of government stink about it:

As a physician, I've seen firsthand the invasion of the federal government in our lives. Although government programs might seem benign at first, they lead to dependency and restrict our freedoms.

Utahans, when you're dying, noble and free, from internal injuries after your car accident rather than taking your chances with some scary witch doctor and his mystery medicines, be grateful for Dr. Mike, the one true warrior in your struggle to be free of hospital access.

[Fox 13 Salt Lake City]

Do not heed any medical advice you might get from following Beth on Twitter.

 

$
Donate with CC

Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

In less than a year, Rebecca asked you all to buy me to be your very own pet blogger, and my life suddenly became incredibly good, like as good as an Abba song. It's as good as "Dancing Queen." Thanks to the timing of the whole thing (and to Barry Obama and Nancy Pelosi), I actually had health insurance for the first time in years, a not inconsiderable thing. And you had an Editrix who was not working 12 hour days six and a half days a week and drinking too much from stress. Your continued donations helped hire Evan full time and Robyn and Bianca part time and a whole raft of freelancers, and now Rebecca is down to eight-hour days, five and a half days a week, and drinking because there's a madman in the White House and everything's terrible.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc