Reporters Better Stop Trying To Look At Sean Spicer's Secret Russia Diary OR HE WILL TELL!
Sean Spicer is apparently very well known for keeping very good notes. His colleagues at the RNC say he was never without a little black book with the party's symbol emblazoned on it. According to Axios reporter Mike Allen, Spicer's secret diaries could possibly be of interest to a certain Bob Mueller who happens to be doing some investigating into that whole Russia situation.
Also, according to Allen, Spicey is totally gonna tell the authorities if he keeps trying to look at his diaries!
When we texted Spicer for comment on his note-taking practices, he replied: "Mike, please stop texting/emailing me unsolicited anymore."
When I replied with a "?" (I have known Spicer and his wife for more than a dozen years), he answered: "Not sure what that means. From a legal standpoint I want to be clear: Do not email or text me again. Should you do again I will report to the appropriate authorities."
And don't email him neither or... HE WILL TELL.
About an hour after Spicer's texts, he replied to a polite email I had sent earlier, seeking comment:
Per my text:
Please refrain from sending me unsolicited texts and emails
Should you not do so I will contact the appropriate legal authorities to address your harassment
Sean M Spicer
Well, I guess Mr. and Mrs. Spicey are not looking to attend Thanksgiving at Mike Allen's this year! Earlier this week, Spicer said he regretted berating reporters over the inauguration crowd size. Apparently he's not ready to give up the habit quite yet.
Wonkette has obtained exclusive footage of what happens when you try to look at Spicer's diaries:
What is in these notebooks, we do not yet know. Maybe it is meticulous notes on everything everyone ever said in front of him, maybe it is heart-healthy recipes, maybe it is a bunch of hearts with "DONALD" written in them.
Spicer himself appeared on Good Morning America this morning to talk about how he's not super sorry for being a lying liar, because as far as he ever knew, he wasn't lying.
The only thing he seems to think was a "mulligan" was the time he said the travel ban was not a travel ban, and then Donald Trump was all "No, it's totally a travel ban." This was a signal to him only that they all should have been on the same page with regards to what language they were going to use. Not that, you know, the President's actual ideas were far more disturbing than even he had imagined.
Hopefully we'll all get to see what is in Spicer's diaries soon, because whether it's full of shit talking, hot Russia gossip or line after line of "All Lies And No Truths Make Sean A Good Boy," it will probably be pretty interesting.
In the meantime, feel free to weigh in on my very important Twitter poll regarding whether or not Spicey is a Moleskine guy.
Important thing to consider Re: Sean's Secret Diaries. Do we think they are moleskines?— Robyn Pennacchia (@RobynElyse) September 21, 2017
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse