Republican Paid $150,000 To Keep Totally Innocent Hot-Tubbing Incident Quiet
Science proves that there is nothing wrong with people hot-tubbing in the nude near each other, even when one person is 28 and the other person is 15. In spite of this fact, some gal needed $150,000to "heal" from the painful memory of being naked in a hot tub near Kevin Garn once, a long time ago.
Kevin Garn is Utah's House majority leader, which means he is conservative as the dickens. So it was horrifying to all when he disclosed that once he had been naked near a lady!
In a shocking statement on the House floor, Kevin Garn, 55, of Layton said he paid her to keep quiet about the incident during his unsuccessful U.S. congressional bid in 2002, but did not have sexual contact with her.
Garn said the woman, who he didn't identify on the floor, has been calling news outlets and that he wanted to be open about the incident that occurred when he was 28 years old, before any stories appeared.
This is basically the Letterman-extortion plotline, no? Except that David Letterman at least had the decency to have sex with the much younger lady, and also the much younger lady was not the one asking for the hush money, and he didn't pay the person who wanted the dough. Otherwise, same exact thing!
Garn spoke on last night of the legislative session as a tearful House Speaker Dave Clark and their colleagues looked on.
House members gave him thunderous applause for his honesty and embraced him.
To this day, there is absolutely no proof that Kevin Garn has ever done anything sexual with a woman, which is why he is "the thinking man's Mitt Romney."