Republican Public Sex-Act Hero Spared Jail Time


Kim Capello, the married heterosexual male county commissioner from Nowheresville, Michigan, electrified the Republican party this spring when police allegedly caught him having naked sex with an adult lady, in public. "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time," he later told reporters, in a clear show of remorse for not having been caughtin a fur suit soliciting sex from teenage boys.

Anyway, Capello faced up to 93 days in jail for indecent exposure, but it looks like he'll "just" get two years to complete various probation-related duties (alcohol and drug testing, community service etc.) after pleading guilty to acts he maintains he did not perform.

That gives him plenty of time to gear up for a 2012 presidential run, filling that crucial and as yet unoccupied niche of "Republican men who appear to enjoy non-procreative sex with women." (Romney and Huckabee obviously do not count, because one has android sperm and the other only has sex with pies, to impregnate them.)

Probation for Novi Republican caught up in sidewalk sex bust [The Oakland Press]


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