Republican Rep. Sean Duffy Wants Fellow Republicans To Start Being Polite And Stop Being Real


Ooh, boy howdy, Republicans, Rep. Sean Duffy (R-REAL WORLD) sure isnot happy with you these days and all the terrible things that come out of your vomit holes, what make you look like a bunch of jerks.

"From my perspective, and I come from a very 50-60 district in central and northern Wisconsin, you have people on our side of the aisle that have a really abrasive tone," he said. "We can come across as knuckle-dragging Neanderthals on occasion."

What a true and insightful thing to observe! Rep. Duffy sure does have a point. A lot of the time -- and by a lot, we mean pretty much every day -- it seems that Republicans say some backasswards stuff what sounds backasswards and makes people look at Republicans and go, "Gosh, you sure sound like real knuckle-draggers." Like, for example, this one time when this one Republican dude was asked whether he supported his state's attempt to require mandatory ultrasounds, and this one Republican was all, "I don’t know what a trans-vaginal ultrasound is ... I haven't had one." Which would suggest that said Republican dude was unaware that he could not have had a transvaginal ultrasound because he does not have a vaginal. (Guess who it was who said that dumb thing? Go on, guess. Okay, we will tell you. IT WAS SEAN DUFFY!)

But that is not all. Oh no.

Sean Duffy would also like Republicans to stop sounding like abrasive asshole knuckle-draggers on, like, economicalistical subjects.

"I'm a fiscal and social conservative, but we have to actually take our message to where people are at. We have moms that can't pay the utility bill, dads who can't pay the mortgage. How does our conservative ideology and philosophy actually help lift them out of the place that they're in today and move them up the economic ladder? We don't do a good job of presenting that message, and we have to change how we're doing it.”

That is another very fine point, Mr. Duffy sir. When so much of the country is suffering, Republicans have a way of coming off like totally insensitive douchebags who do not understand Real AmericansTM and their Real SufferingTM in the Real WorldOh snap!. Like, just to pick a totally random example that we are totally not using to make a larger point, this one time this one Republican congressman was asked by a constituent how much money he made and if he'd be willing to take a pay cut, and the congressman started whining about how hard it is to live on his measly $174,000 a year at his part-time job in Congress that comes with all sorts of perks and benefits including socialized taxpayer-funded health care:

I walked into this job 6 weeks that I worked incredibly hard for. And I can guarantee you or most of you, I guarantee that I have more debt than all of you.

With 6 kids, I still pay off my student loans. I still pay my mortgage. I drive a used minivan. If you think I’m living high off the hog, I’ve got one paycheck. So I...I struggle to meet my bills right now. Would it be easier for me if I get more paychecks? Maybe, but at this point I’m not living high off the hog.

What an abrasive knuckle-dragging Neanderthal thing to say to a constituent who is all "I am suffering for reals." That response -- you don't know, suffering, dude, for I too am suffering under the burden of my big fat paycheck -- is the kind of thing that is alienating voters (and by alienating, of course, we mean pissing them off so hard they do not want to vote for Republicans). In fact, we would love to see Duffy sit that knuckle-dragger down and stop being polite and start getting real with some serious words, which would be an amusing thing to watch because -- as you've probably already sussed out by now, you smartypants readers -- it was Sean Duffy all along.


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