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Republicans Announce Racial Hero George Allen Will Perform Minority Outreach

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Casting aspersions.Remember hilarious football-holding horse-riding racist dildo George Allen? He was supposed to be the "new Ronald Reagan," but the Daily Kos or whatever videotaped him calling a fellow of Indian ancestry some kind of African monkey. Next thing you know, people found out George Allen was ashamed to be a secret Jew, and he maybe stuffed the heads of deer into black people's mailboxes (?), and it was all hilarious and wonderful. Anyway, George Allen's back! And he will convince, er, black people to vote for the Republicans!


Ah, 2006! America was a simpler place, back then. We still had our own hopes and dreams and didn't need some fancy smart dude for all that. And we had marvelous lunatics running for office, or re-election. George Allen was running to keep his Senate seat. And then he lost, to an equally psychotic character named Jim Webb -- but Jim Webb had become a Democrat, so it was change we could believe in.

Anyway, now George Allen and his prop football have been dragged out of the self-storage place near Mount Vernon, with a new and glorious mission: Convince black folks to vote Republican! He will be perfect in this new role ... the role of a lifetime.

Makin' friends.

Virginia GOP Planning Rally To Reach Out To Minorities -- Starring George Allen! [TPM]

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It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

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SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

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Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

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