Rice on the Side

BadtasteinhermouthCondoleezza Rice made persistent denials last week that the "United States does not engage in torture, doesn't condone it, doesn't expect its employees to engage in it." These statements seem at odds, to put it mildly, with what Donald Rumsfeld might call "the facts on the ground," including the existence of "black sites," "extreme rendition," and Dick Cheney's position that torture is just one tool in the wide array of democracy's building blocks. A quote in today's Washington Post from Jim Wilkinson, mini-bar miser and Rice spokesman, clears things up. Discussing the food options available on Rice's plane, Wilkinson opines, "Some people hate the meatballs, but most hate the wing-dings. They violate the laws of war, the Geneva Convention and the international convention on torture. They're sooo bad."

Clearly, the reason Rice thinks we don't torture is because her staff has confused the international convention on torture with a Jack-in-the-Box menu. They were probably confused by the references to "waterboarding" (an extreme sport, perhaps?) and probably assumed that "electric shocks to genitals" was just some kind of fancy diplomatic term for "heat lamp."

[Gleb Garanich/Reuters]

Oh, for a Flight Without Wings [WP]


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