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Rick Santorum Thinks It Would Be Fun To Run A Movie Studio

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As if losing elections for the U.S. Senate and the presidency weren't enough, Rick Santorum now looks forward to driving a movie studio into bankruptcy! The frothy one has been named CEO of EchoLight Studios, a Christian movie company based in Dallas. Santorum was excited to get to work doing to movies what he's done for politics:


"This is the right place and right time, and I’ve jumped in with both feet,” the former Pennsylvania senator and 2012 presidential candidate said in a statement. “I often say that culture is upstream from politics, and I know entertainment also can be strength and light for people who want to be uplifted and reinforced in their values.”

It seems like a match made in heaven (the Catholic one). After all, the movie industry is dying for lack of ideas and an anachronistic business model, so Rick Santorum should fit right in. The studio's first movie, "The Redemption of Henry Myers," is set to be released this fall; it's described as "a Western about a bank robber choosing between revenge and Redemption." We can't wait to see the scene in which the bank robber gets $18,000 to lecture high school students that they need to beware of Muslims.

Some other projects that EchoLight Studios is expected to greenlight:

  • A Man and His Dog
  • Educating Rita Just Makes Her An America-Hating Snob
  • Lube Story
  • Saturday Night Fecal
  • Harry Potter and the Demonic Influence of Sorcery
  • Fetaljuice
  • Mr. Smith Goes to Washington And Makes It A Theocracy Like Our Founders Wanted
  • The 40 Year Old Virgin Is A Role Model For Us All
  • Frother of the Bride
  • Knocked Up And Married, Thank You Very Much
  • American Graffiti is a Crime Don't These Urban Youths Know That?
  • Gone Baby Gone (But Only After A Couple Of Days Of Being Carried Around Like Some Weird Totem)
  • Fade to Blah

The Washington Post notes that Santorum gave a speech in 2011 to the Heritage Foundation in which he said that Christian films could have a great impact, but suffered because of quality issues:

“The problem in the past is that you have these people who create these Christian films — great message, terrible acting, horrible editing,” Santorum said. “They are not entertaining, they’re preachy.”

God knows, if there's anyone we can trust to entertain without any preachiness, it's Rick Santorum.

[WaPo]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

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And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

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[Washington Post]

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