SCOTUS

Dianne Feinstein Can’t Thank Lindsey Graham Enough For Such A Thorough, Professional Ass Whooping

Seriously, what the fuck?

Let's talk about the crazy shit that happened yesterday. The sham confirmation hearing for Amy Coney Barrett had just concluded, and the Senate's ranking Democrat on the Judiciary Committee, Dianne Feinstein, had something to say. I didn't expect anything too grand, just a slight acknowledgment of the Republican Party's latest wholly corrupt, norm-shredding power play. I would've settled for a simple “From hell's heart I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath" at Donald Trump and the GOP.

Instead, Feinstein congratulated committee chair and used colostomy bag Lindsey Graham on a job well-done, as if they'd finished up a squash match at their private club. Graham had shamelessly cheated, knocked her to the floor with his racket, and kicked her still quivering body, but who knows, maybe that's a good time for her.

Senate Democrats tried to deny Republicans a quorum, but Graham ignored committee rules and still moved forward with a motion setting Barrett's Judiciary Committee vote for next Thursday. This is what Feinstein considers worthy of a glowing LinkedIn testimonial.

To quote noted American thinker Fred G. Sanford, Democrats had just “been had bad." They'd been "conned, robbed, and ripped off." And Feinstein expressed her gratitude to the head robber. She even hugged Graham afterward, without a mask, because apparently her own life matters as much to her as the millions of Americans set to lose their health care once Barrett's on the Supreme Court.

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Class War

Weep, Weep (Don't Weep) For The Poor (Not Poor) White Supremacists (Definitely White Supremacists)!

In which Walker Bragman's rural poverty domestic terrorism chic is buried as it deserves.

Last week, America was blessed with a tantalizing glimpse of the future. Black Twitter, farm Twitter, real estate Twitter, blue-check policy wonks, and trailer park Twitter came together as one. What for? To deep-fry Walker Bragman, whom I had never heard of before last week, for his ignorant assertion that white supremacist terrorism is caused by "economic circumstances."

Unfortunately for poverty tastemakers like Bragman, who once complained that Uber brings gross icky poors who sleep in their cars into his nice clean Hamptons, rural Americans use Twitter. They were quick to point out that building private armies to overthrow the government is a rich and middle-class man's game. Accordingly, this isn't the broken-down shack that Walker, East End Ranger thinks it is. It's messy because it was just raided by the FBI. The home is new, in good repair (as seen on its Zillow page), and owned, not rented. It's got a private dumpster. Those are costly: a de facto class marker in rural areas without trash service. Nearby residents complained Joseph Morrison brought large groups to use the whole neighborhood as their personal shooting range. In other words, the first people these men terrorized were their own neighbors — the very rural residents Bragman claims to speak for.

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Right Wing Extremism

Constitutional Originalist Marsha Blackburn Still Insists On Voting, Owning Property

She’s still not the sharpest knife in a drawer filled with dull knives.

The race for the title of Senate's dumbest Republican continues. Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson remains undefeated, but Tennessee's Marsha Blackburn is young, scrappy, and hungry.Wednesday, during Amy Coney Barrett's Supreme Court Spa Week, Blackburn, who's on the Judiciary Committee because it's not like there's a test or anything, tweeted the following:

Twitter

Hey, she's right! Blackburn probably had her staff comb through the pocket Constitutions she gives everyone as Christmas stocking stuffers. Or at the very least she just ran a quick edit > find on Google.

Of course, the word “AR-15" also doesn't appear in the Constitution. I checked! Our originalist gun nut senator would never support restricting legal gun ownership to the weapons available in the 18th Century. The gun lobby wouldn't make much bank pushing the sale of ye olde muskets. There'd also be significantly fewer school shootings, but you can't have everything.

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Elections

Voter Suppression Fest 2020 Kicks Off In Georgia

This is (but shouldn’t be) America.

Early in-person voting started in Georgia Monday, and what we witnessed was hardly democracy in action. People were waiting in lines that snaked around city blocks for almost 10 hours. That's a de facto poll tax and outright disenfranchisement for people with disabilities and parents of small children. It's inexcusable, but that didn't stop officials from trying. God bless.

From CNN:

"Georgia is seeing record turnout for early voting because of excitement and enthusiasm of the upcoming election," said Walter Jones, a spokesperson for the Georgia Secretary of State's office. "Long lines are to be expected — voters need to be aware of all of their options including three weeks of early voting, no-excuse absentee and in-person voting day of the election."

See? Long lines are to be expected, so sit down and shut up. Well, you can't actually sit. You'll have to stand for hours on end, but your tired dogs are no excuse for bellyaching. This is America, where our regularly scheduled elections remain a constant source of surprise.

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