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Elizabeth Warren Will Tell You Why Mike Pence Sucks Every Day Until The End Of Time

Gay-hating VP is neither honorable nor decent.

Elizabeth Warren fully believes Donald Trump is terrible, but she's not delusional enough to think Mike Pence will prove some great relief. Trump's lickspittle vice president is no mild-mannered Gerald Ford who'll help end our current "long national nightmare." Pence is a queer-hating religious bigot. Warren intends to tell you this, very slowly and clearly, until everyone has wised up.

Warren was on "Morning Joe" yesterday, which is what we guess you have to do when you're running for president. Co-host Mika Brzezinski asked her if she thought Brutus Pence was an "honorable man." Warren quickly and reflexively said, "No," as if Brzezinski had offered the Massachusetts senator Manhattan clam chowder. Brzezinski was seemingly stunned, because Democrats are expected to be "civil" and talk about their "friends across the aisle" as if the past 30 years of political history never happened. She asked Warren if she'd "like to expound upon that." Warren said, "Sure!" in that adorably enthusiastic way she has. She's up for any opportunity to tell the world why Pence ain't shit.

WARREN: Anyone who engages in the kind of homophobia and attacks on people who are different from himself is not an honorable person. That's not what honorable people do.
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White Nonsense

Child Rape Apologist Tucker Carlson Also Said Some Racist Sh*t. In Other News, Sky Blue.

More unearthed audio reveals Tucker Carlson saying incredibly racist things, as he is known to do.

On Monday night, Media Matters released a second set of recordings from Tucker Carlson's appearances on the Bubba the Love Sponge show, all of which were incredibly racist and would be very shocking, had they been said by almost anyone who wasn't Tucker Carlson. (The child-rape defenses were covered the day before.) There is a reason why all the neo-Nazis swoon over Tucker Carlson, and it's not because of his fashion sense. It is because he says the exact same things they do, every weeknight on national television.

In this second set of recordings, Carlson shared his feelings on a variety of subjects. On immigration, he said that all immigrants should be required to be "hot" or "smart," because "picking lettuce" won't help us build a stronger country years from now. Tucker Carlson, of course, would not be shit if it hadn't been for people working on farms -- he owes everything to the fact that his stepmommy was the Swanson frozen dinners heiress.

He also noted that white men "created civilization," a popular white supremacist talking point (and lie), called Iraqis "semiliterate primitive monkeys" whom he does not care about because they don't use "toilet paper" or "forks," claimed that the Congressional Black Caucus exists to unfairly "blame the white man" for everything, and shared a variety of incredibly racist thoughts about Barack and Michelle Obama.

Let's go to the tape, shall we?

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Post-Racial America

Judge Jeanine Too Bigotty Even For Fox

Pirro accuses Rep. Ilhan Omar of dual loyalty.

Saturday, during the opening monologue of her Fox News show, "Judge" Jeanine Pirro took aim at the Right's current favorite target, the "very scary" Rep. Ilhan Omar. She wondered what set the congresswoman apart from others in the "Democrat Party," who she believed aren't collectively "anti-Israel" like she claims Omar is. Pirro suggested the answer rested on top of Omar's pretty Muslim head.

PIRRO: Think about it. Omar wears a hijab, which according to the Quran 33:59, tells women to cover so they won't get molested. Is her adherence to this Islamic doctrine indicative of her adherence to Sharia law, which in itself is antithetical to the United States Constitution?

Pirro is presumably a judge of more than just beauty pageants and hot-dog eating contests. She should understand that the First Amendment of the Constitution protects the right of a Muslim politician or even a random American citizen to wear a hijab, a yarmulke, or even a nun's wimple. Pirro basically accused Omar of having a "dual loyalty," which is the exact same anti-Semitic trope everyone has denounced Omar herself for invoking.

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News

IT'S ALL FINE. Wonkagenda For Mon., March 11, 2019

Trump's bigass budget, the horse race for 2020, and Erik Prince miiiight have lied to congress. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Right Wing Extremism

Dinesh D'Souza Wants National Guard To Use Force On Liberal Protesters Again, For Free Speech

It's worked out so well before!

On an episode of The Ingraham Angle this week, Dinesh D'Souza swung by to have a chat about "How To Defeat The Anti-Free Speech Thugs." The "anti-free speech thugs" he is referring to are college students who protest appearances by, say, Milo Yiannopoulis, Richard Spencer, or perhaps even Dinesh D'Souza. You know, because protesting things is not a form of free speech protected by the Constitution. At least not if you're a liberal. If you're a Nazi and you need to express your discontent by running a protester over with your car, different story entirely. There are rules to these things!

The only way to truly protect "free speech," Dinesh explains, is for the government to crack down on those dang hippie protestors and make them shut up, by use of force, if necessary.

D'Souza told Ingraham:

I think that Trump is -- Trump's step is an important first step, but it's only the beginning.

I mean, as this stuff escalates, when you have antifa violence in places like Berkeley -- let's remember, Berkeley is a state university. It's fully accountable to the First Amendment, and the First Amendment is not less valuable than, say, the 14th Amendment, which protects civil rights.

So, if I were Trump, I would consider, in extreme circumstances, sending in the National Guard, because sending in force to protect basic constitutional rights is actually an appropriate use of force.

Now, I realize that Dinesh D'Souza is a very well-respected historian of shit he just made up himself ten seconds ago, and that I am but a simple country, uh, person who has had actual conversations with human beings who lived through the Vietnam War era in her life and is capable of Googling, but it doesn't seem to me like this worked out so well the last time? For either side?

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Right Wing Extremism

Neo-Nazis Have A New Drug, And It Is Tucker Carlson

Identity Evropa chat logs were released by the media collective Unicorn Riot.

On Wednesday, the media collective Unicorn Riot leaked several hundred thousand chat logs from the Identity Evropa Discord server, giving the world a nauseating glimpse into the secret online world of white supremacists. Evropa Discord is best known for tactics like posting creepy racist posters around campuses and attempting to infiltrate college Republican groups, the military, and the GOP itself.

The release contains more than 770,000 messages exchanged by group members, all of which have been helpfully compiled into a searchable database.

Notably, Identity Evropa also helped to organize the Unite The Right rally in Charlottesville, and you may recall the unfortunate time that the group's current leader, Patrick Casey, appeared on the Today Show in order to have quick chat about their sartorial choices and plans to infiltrate college campuses.

Founded in 2016 by convicted armed robber Nathan Damigo, Identity Evropa is a white supremacist/white separatist group that aims to act as a fifth column, pushing right-wing conservatives to embrace white separatist ideology with the intended goal of making America a 90% white country. Which, you know, is not happening. People of color are not going to just magically disappear or all move to different countries, along with allllllllll of the white people who don't want shit to do with groups like Identity Evropa just so these spoiled twerps can have their special homeland. They are more than welcome to leave if they want to, though I doubt any other country would want them either.

But that doesn't mean they're not going to try.

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News

Poor Marks. Wonkagenda For Wed., March 6, 2019

Trump's stonewalling and screaming, Republicans are squirming, and a lovely tribute for Rep. John Dingell. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Blacktacular

Republicans Say Stupid Sh*t Lies, Weekend Show Edition!

It's your Sunday Show Rundown!

Let's begin today's Sunday show roundup with National Security Adviser and least favorite Bolton (after Michael and Ramsey), John. Trump's NSA appeared on CNN's "State of The Union," proclaiming the "unquestionable success" of the second Trump/Kim summit, even though no deal was reached and Trump was humiliated. Jake Tapper asked Bolton about Trump's statements regarding Otto Warmbier, the American college student who was sent home in a coma from North Korea and died shortly after being returned to the US; Trump said at a press conference that Kim Jong Un denied knowing anything about Warmbier, and so case closed. Trump stated, "He tells me that he didn't know about it, and I will take him at his word. Those prisons are rough. They're rough places, and bad things happen. But I don't believe he knew about it."

TAPPER: He's going to take Kim Jong-un at his word that he didn't know about it. The Warmbier family put out a statement. They disagree. They say Kim Jong-un is responsible. Are they wrong?

BOLTON: Look, the president made it very clear he considers what happened to Otto Warmbier an act of brutality that's completely unacceptable to the American side. I have heard him before the summit itself, before the press conference, talk about how deeply he cared about Otto Warmbier and his family. The fact is, the best thing North Korea could do right now would be to give us a full accounting of what happened and who was responsible for it.

That's quite a change or non-commitment for Bolton. Especially when, shortly after Otto Warmbier's death, Bolton was basically egging on a full scale regime change in North Korea.

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Right Wing Extremism

A Black Guy Is Taking Over A Neo-Nazi Group, And It Only Gets Weirder From There.

James Hart Stern says he is taking over the NSM in order to dismantle it. Mazel tov!

The National Socialist Movement is one of the largest neo-Nazi groups in America, known for its adherents' tendency to dress in full-on Nazi outfits, their participation in the Charlottesville Unite The Right rally, and a bunch of stupid publicity stunts like marching through the streets of Toledo and causing a riot.

And their new president is a black guy!

Now, before you go thinking this is some kind of Clayton Bigsby/Sheriff David Clarke situation, black activist James Hart Stern is taking over as director and president of the NSM for the purposes of dismantling it and undermining it in a lawsuit against the group's actions in Charlottesville.

The Associate Press reports that Stern took over leadership from Jeff Schoep, who has been president of the NSM since 1994, in January. However, it wasn't until Thursday that Stern filed documents asking a Virginia court for a summary judgment against the group, stating that the NSM will be pleading liable to "all causes of actions listed in the complaint against it."

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News

INFINITE SCREAMMMMM! Wonkagenda For Fri., March 1, 2019

Jared calls his father-in-law, HHS says no kiddy fiddling in baby jails, and the shitshow at CPAC. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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White Nonsense

If You Saw Jacob Wohl At A Hipster Coffee Shop, You'd Go Find A Policeman

We are seriously worried about this dude, but not worried enough to refrain from mocking him.

USA Today has a new profile out about Jacob Wohl, the Trump starfucker diaspora's weakest and most unfuckable twinkling light, and it's worth a read if you like things that are completely shitbonkers. We've mostly been ignoring Wohl since the youngster's great #FailWeek 2018, when he invented an "intelligence" company (phone number for company: Jacob Wohl's mom's phone) so he could invent a story about Robert Mueller raping somebody, only to have his story fall apart repeatedly while he was telling it.

It's not that li'l Jacob hasn't been busy or anything. He's been in Minneapolis doing an EXCLUSIVE INVESTIGATION into Rep. Ilhan Omar with world's most embarrassing human person Laura Loomer, and, um ... yeah, we don't know why, and from reading his batshit Twitter feed, it sounds like they got assassinated in one of Minneapolis's non-existent "no-go" zones, but don't worry, they got better.

Behold their posse:

OH WAIT YOU CAN'T because while we were writing this he got suspended from Twitter! Just trust us, it was a COOL PICTURE of some people who probably shouldn't reproduce. (UPDATE: Just kidding, he's PERMA-BANNED. And why? Read on, and you will see!)a

And don't think Jacob Wohl stays home lonely in the evening, because he went to CIGAR NIGHT with Mike Cernovich and that douchewanker who tweeted that list of how ladies can be more fuckable.

No clarifications on exactly where they put the cigars, but sure, fine, all humans deserve good clean friendship.

ANYWAY, this newspaper profile! You can read all of it if you wanna, or you can just stick with Wonkette's very brief recap, which will tell you all the important stuff you never needed to know:

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News

Another Bill In The Wall. Wonkagenda For Fri., Feb. 22, 2019

Trump STILL can't get his wall money, Alex Acosta broke the law, and Dame Peggington hates commie kids. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today!

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Post-Racial America

Oh, Did Something Happen With The Jussie Smollett Case?

Selfish bastard!

Thanks a whole fucking lot, Jussie Smollett. Because one anecdote speaks louder than a thousand data points, the Empire actor's faked attack will now drown out the very real explosion of hate crimes in the Trump era. There were 7,100 such attacks in 2017 -- a 17 percent increase over 2016 -- but because of Smollett's narcissistic ploy for attention, the MAGA loons will now discount this epidemic of violence as FAKE NEWS. Those assholes are already screaming about conservatives being the REAL VICTIMS here. Like poor, innocent lamb Roger Stone, who is due in court this afternoon to splain why he posted a photo of Judge Amy Berman Jackson with a gun target next to her head.

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Post-Racial America

Maybe Ralph Northam Just Shouldn't Talk

We watch the Sunday shows so you don't have to!

Hello, Wonkers! It's time for your Monday recap of what happened on the terrible horrible no good very bad Sunday shows. Today, we have two treats for you, just kidding they are not treats, they are TERRIBLE.

We'll start on CBS's "Face The Nation," where Virginia Governor Ralph Wiggum Northam gave his first interview since the story broke about the blackface/KKK picture in his 1984 medical school yearbook. After a long string of PR and racial mistakes followed by apparently taking a remedial "don't be racist" course for old southern white men, Northam was ready to show off his bona fides to CBS "This Morning" host and Oprah BFF Gayle King:

KING: I know this has been a very difficult week for you in the state of Virginia. So where would you like to begin?

NORTHAM: Well it has been a difficult week. And you know if you look at Virginia's history we are now at the 400 year anniversary, just 90 miles from here in 1619. The first indentured servants from Africa landed on our shores in Old Point Comfort what we call now Fort Monroe and while—

KING: Also known as slavery.

Goddamn it, Ralph! You didn't make it 30 seconds into the interview without showing that the remedial course is not working by using a euphemism used by racists to minimize slavery.

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News

ANOTHER Government Shutdown!?! Wonkagenda For Mon., Feb. 11, 2019.

Trump demands WALL (again), everyone is still talking about Jeff Bezos's dick pics, and so much more. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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News

Pomp And Circumstance. Wonkagenda For Tues., Feb. 5, 2019

Law enforcement looks at the shady 'naug, Dr. Ronny Jackson is making his comeback, and DC gets ready for the SOTU. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today!

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