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2018 State and Local Elections

Party Of Personal Responsibility Blames Dead Man For Loss Of House

Not good news for John McCain.

You probably know this already, but I'm gonna tell you again because it's so delightful. Democrats are on track to pick up close to 38 House seats after last Tuesday's midterm elections. This ends eight years of dysfunctional, wannabe dictator-enabling Republican control, and anticipated two-time Speaker Nancy Pelosi gets her Ali in Zaire comeback moment.

The GOP is currently pursuing a couple options after its electoral trouncing. One is basically pretending it never happened in the first place. Maybe they're secretly impressed with how the shouty guy who thinks he's Napoleon and smells like his exhumed corpse gets a subway car all to himself. Disconnection from reality has its privileges.

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Right Wing Extremism

Wisconsin School's Nazi Prom Photo Sure To Go Over Well With College Admission Boards

Teach the damn kids better.

Oh, those wacky kids today! Always on their phones, smoking their Juuls, buying a lot of unicorn-themed things ... and taking "Heil Hitler" prom photos. I guess!

Over the weekend, some students from Baraboo High School in Wisconsin tweeted a photo of dozens of boys in the class of 2019, at their Junior Prom, in a group photo, doing a Nazi salute -- a photo reportedly taken by a parent of one of the boys in the picture and reportedly posted to their own website that was filled with other pictures of the Baraboo High School prom (UPDATE: Said photographer is motorcycle photographer one Peter Gust, whose son is in the picture. He is former educator and Wisconsin Education Association Council regional director. Nice!) The tweet, first shared by Twitter user Carly Sidey, has since been deleted, and the account that posted it has gone private.

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Elections

GOP Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith Is A Mississippi Goddam ... Racist

Lynching humor!

Mississippi Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith made a gross comment earlier this month that is both clueless of history and casually racist. On November 2, just before the midterm election, she was at a campaign event with cattle rancher Colin Hutchinson. Demonstrating just how "ride or die" she was for Hutchinson, she boasted, "If he invited me to a public hanging, I'd be on the front row!"

This is an odd statement because public hangings are historically general admission. Maybe she's saying she'd be willing to camp out overnight to ensure she can watch some poor bastard dance at the end of a rope like a common psychopath. She is, of course, un-ironically "100 percent pro-life," because life has value until it's born. Eventually ending that life in a sickening, extrajudicial manner is a pleasant spectator sport. Bring the popcorn.

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Congress

Infowars Loons And Proud Boys Swarm Florida To Demand They Stop Counting Votes.

What if they count all the votes and Rick Scott loses? What then? How would that be fair?

Once upon a time, a very terrible man who is now dead halted the counting of votes in Florida because doing so would cast "a cloud upon what he claims to be the legitimacy of his election." The "he" in this case was one George W. Bush, and had those votes been counted, had the butterfly ballot used by Florida not led to many people accidentally voting for Pat Buchanan, Al Gore would have been our president, we probably would have never gone to war with Iraq, and things probably would have been a lot nicer across the board. We might have even had less fucked up elections were this not a thing people felt they could get away with.

Of course, at that time, the Supreme Court was not the only one demanding Gore give up. Even many people who considered themselves Democrats at the time were going the route of "OH MY GOD THIS IS SOOOOOOO EMBARRASSING, JUST STAHP!" and demanding Gore do the "statesman-like" thing and concede. And he did.

This year, however? Shit is changing, and Democratic candidates are not so easily shamed into backing down, especially when things are looking shady. Stacey Abrams is holding out in Georgia, where votes were clearly screwed with, waiting until all the votes have been counted in Arizona -- despite the preferences of the Arizona GOP -- has led to Krysten Sinema taking a significant lead against Martha McSally, and in Florida, Democrat Bill Nelson is refusing to back down until all the votes are counted, despite the fact that Rick Scott has already declared victory.

In Florida, if the vote margin is less than 0.5 percent, the state's election rules will require a recount. Because of the way things are done now, two of Florida's more liberal counties -- Palm Beach and Broward County -- have not yet finished counting mail-in ballots, Broward hasn't finished counting early ballots, and many other counties have yet to finish counting provisional ballots. However, according to Marco Rubio and Donald Trump, counting these ballots amounts to trying to steal an election. Or, as they say, cast a cloud on what Rick Scott believes is the legitimacy of his election.

Naturally, the Right is panicking, and a cabal of conspiracy theorists led by Roger Stone -- whom you may recall led the Brooks Brothers Riot of 2000, when a bunch of Republican operatives got extremely violent trying to intimidate vote counters into stopping -- have descended upon Broward county to demand the vote counting stop. They also think that Nelson is trying to steal the election by adding in a bunch of fake ballots or something. Basically, they don't understand the way any of this works or where the ballots are coming from, and have filled in the blanks themselves. Which, historically, has been a stupid idea.

The Daily Beast reports:

Former Infowars reporter Joe Biggs declared on Twitter that he was heading to Florida to stop "radical leftists."
Right-wing activist Laura Loomer, a former James O'Keefe associate who has made her name by yelling at prominent Democrats in a stunt that she calls "Loomering", said on Twitter that she too was headed to Broward and planned to meet with Stone.

"I'll #Loomer the whole state of Florida if that's what it takes," Loomer tweeted.

Ali Alexander, a pro-Trump figure who runs a PAC bankrolled by the billionaire Mercer family, claimed that he would recruit both believers in the ludicrous QAnon conspiracy theory and homeless people to picket the Board of Elections.

Truly, a star-studded event if ever there was one. Also participating in the event are a group of Proud Boys, the violent Republican street gang known for stomping on people they disagree with and also acting as Stone's bodyguards.

A judge held on Friday afternoon that Broward County release the number of votes they have left to count, in hopes of appeasing the conspiracy theorists, but that will be unlikely to happen as they will then just come up with another thing.

Regardless of how these elections turn out, the fact that these candidates were not cowed by Republican whines to just concede already is a victory and a huge deal in and of itself. Not only because it takes away their power, but because standing up for every person's vote to be counted, demanding they be counted, is the right thing to do for our country. It's what they should be doing.

[Daily Beast]

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Culture

Rick Scott Wants Florida To Cut Out All This 'Counting Votes' Nonsense

2000 deja vu all over again

Florida has been a hot mess of electoral shenanigans if not outright fraud for as long as I can remember. I still have the Katherine Harris-inflicted scars from the 2000 election. Tuesday night, Republicans Ron DeSantis and Rick Scott pulled ahead in the vote counts for Florida governor and senator, so they just sort of stopped counting. Not counting votes is a reliable, Supreme Court-approved strategy. Why wait for all those pesky returns to come in when we've already tabulated the results from the Republican candidates' own homes? They even counted those votes twice!

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Post-Racial America

Fox News Cancels Caravan 'Crisis,' Re-Declares War On Jim Acosta And Sharks And Happy Holidays And ...

These guys are shameless

Good news, everyone! Carol's lake house in Minnesota has checked in "safe" on Facebook from that awful caravan crisis, which unlike what conservatives think about climate change was definitely man-made. You probably recall the story about the Marie Antoinette of Minnesota whom Donald Trump had scared even more shades of white about an invading army of hostile poor people. This "caravan of migrants" would not stop until it reached a state that is only habitable for human life for about two weeks in May. Then would come the raping and pillaging in an undetermined order until even innocent lake houses were "occupied."

Mr. Trump's dystopian imagery has clearly left an impression with some. Carol Shields, 75, a Republican in northern Minnesota, said she was afraid that migrant gangs could take over people's summer lake homes in the state.

"What's to stop them?" said Ms. Shields, a retired accountant. "We have a lot of people who live on lakes in the summer and winter someplace else. When they come back in the spring, their house would be occupied."

What's to stop "them"? Absolutely nothing ... that isn't, say, a midterm election that happened Tuesday! The caravan probably packed it in on Wednesday, because what's the point? All eligible voters have been terrified. Turns out the caravan didn't contain gang members after all but just the electoral version of the creatures from Monsters, Inc. who live on fear.

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Culture

Trump Topples Confederate Monument Jeff Sessions. No One Black Will Miss Him

The line to dance on Sessions's political grave starts behind the ghost of Coretta Scott King.

Jeff Sessions "resigned" as attorney general Wednesday, and African Americans across the country living, dead, and somewhere in between, are rejoicing. Now, we are sensible people. We understand that Donald Trump whacked Sessions for no honorable reason, almost certainly to obstruct justice in the Russia investigation. We get that the acting attorney general, Matthew Whitaker, literally wrote a cover letter for the job posing as a CNN op-ed stating that Robert Mueller's investigation had "gone too far."

Just listen to us for a moment, white people: We know that Trump is shredding the rule of law and we've just advanced a few rounds in the fascism home game. We're going to be sad later, but just let us be happy right now. And, baby, are we happy.

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Russia

Jim Acosta: American Hero. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 8, 2018

Another mass shooting, the White House revokes Jim Acosta's press pass, and House Republicans start stabbing each other in the face. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Russia

ELECTION DAY! Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 6, 2018

Get your ass to the polls after you read your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Russia

Don't Boo, Vote! Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 5, 2018

Trump makes the midterms about scary brown people, and Republicans have a white nationalist problem. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Right Wing Extremism

'The Left' Fails To Issue Offical Decree Denouncing Anti-Semitic Jerk Who Really Likes Trump.

Weird how literally no one ever mentions Louis Farrakhan in months that don't rhyme with 'Bovember'

Yesterday afternoon, Maggie Haberman did a Maggie Haberman and tweeted out an article from The New York Daily News calling for "the left" to officially denounce Louis Farrakhan, a person very few of us even give much thought to, except for when the Right goes all "WELL WHAT ABOUT LOUIS FARRAKHAN, HUH?"

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Russia

'Consider It A Rifle.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 2, 2018

They want to have a massacree. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Culture

Tomi Lahren v. Candace Owens Is The Z-List Celeb Beef You Didn't Know You Needed

And fine, you probably don't, but it IS hilarious!

Earlier this week, after months of swooning over Donald Trump, saying weird shit about slavery on TMZ, and hanging out with the biggest Republican dorks in the world, Kanye West announced that he was quitting his involvement with politics, stating that he had "been used to spread messages" he didn't believe in and wanted to focus on being creative.

That message, specifically was "Blexit," and the user was Candace Owens, one of the Republican doofuses West had suddenly befriended. Owens launched something she called "Blexit" -- a mass exodus of black people from the Democratic Party to the Republican Party that was only ever going to exist in her own mind. Owens claimed, publicly, that West had designed the logo for Blexit with her, and basically tried to make it seem like this was a thing she and Kanye were doing together. Probably because no one actually cares about her.

BUT, Kanye did not design the thing, he just introduced her to someone else who designed it for her, and did not want their name associated with such a stupid idea. Kanye then got mad and was like "Welp, no more politics for me," which was very sad for Republicans because other than him they only have Chachi, and they had all been super excited that Kanye -- an actual cool person -- had gone full MAGA. Some called him a traitor, some got mad at Owens and her Turning Point USA buddy Charlie Kirk for having been so thirsty and chasing him off, and some, like Tomi Lahren, got all "I TOLD YOU SO" about the whole thing.

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Elections

Trump: Illegal Immigrants Taking Murder Jobs From Hard-Murdering Americans

Just when you think he can't get more racist. Just kidding, you knew he could.

The latest appalling thing Donald Trump has done -- honestly, who can even keep count these days? -- is the release of a racist attack ad that depicts illegal immigrants as the single greatest threat to America other than Democrats. I'm not linking to the ad because I'm not helping drive up Trump's engagement numbers, but you can find it pinned to the top of his Twitter page with the following absurd proclamation: "It is outrageous what the Democrats are doing to our Country. Vote Republican now!" It's basically a less subtle version of the "Futurama" PSA advising horny teenagers against sex with robots: "The next day Billy's planet was destroyed by aliens. That planet was Earth! DON'T DATE ROBOTS!"

Trump has taken time from his busy schedule of hate-mongering to remind voters just days before the midterms about Luis Bracamontes, a twice-deported Mexican immigrant who killed two police officers in 2014. When convicted, he expressed no remorse for his crimes and even vowed to "kill more" cops. Bracamontes was executed in April, so he now poses at least 20 percent less of a threat. Democrats apparently support an "open borders" policy with hell, so let's not get too comfortable.

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Russia

The Latest On The Genius Plot To Underpants Gnome Robert Mueller To Death!

Imagine if they weren't fucking idiots.

Important updates on The Stupidest Thing That Ever Happened (This Week), i.e. the hilarious conspiracy to take down special counsel Robert Mueller! Surprise, Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl, the pro-Trump power rangers who seem to have hatched the super smart plot to pay women to make false harassment and rape allegations against Mueller, are still stepping on their dicks at every turn.

Jim Hoft -- AKA The Gateway Pundit AKA The Stupidest Man On The Internet AKA owner of the "news" site where somehow Jacob Wohl "is a writer" since young Wohl got banned from hedge funding -- originally published EXCLUSIVE DOCUMENTS detailing a rape Mueller allegedly committed in New York City on a day he was in Washington DC. But Hoft took the documents down Tuesday after #ThePlan started to go hilariously wrong, due to how journalists started talking publicly about how paste-chomping morons had tried to bait them into running with an obviously fake story about Robert Mueller being a big sexual harasser/rape man.

Upon further investigation, it turned out that "SureFire," the "intelligence company" that had contacted women on behalf of Jack Burkman to try to convince them to make false accusations against Mueller in exchange for money, is a wholly owned subsidiary of JACOB WOHL'S MOM, or at least it was borrowing her flip phone to conduct its very important business. (Wonkette is investigating the possibility that "SureFire" is also a dollar store version of a Fleshlight, which makes sense because we're pretty sure Jacob Wohl lives with his mom and therefore might not be able to afford name brand Fleshlights. We will let you know what we find out!)

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