She’s just the worst.
The Arizona primaries are August 2, and it’s gonna be a long hot summer of crazy for the GOP candidates. FiveThirtyEight rates this year's election for governor as a toss-up. Perhaps that’s because the potential nominee is MAGA kook and Big Lie promoter Kari Lake, who doesn’t shy away from publicly revealing how terrible she is.
Lake was incensed that Sports Illustrated put a model on its cover who is larger than a size zero. She ranted, “To try to act like that’s the epitome of health is just crazy. To tell our boys in school that they can be girls and vice versa ... "
Trump\u2019s candidate for AZ Gov Kari Lake is upset over the SI Swimsuit Edition cover: \u201cIt\u2019s insane .. We\u2019re not going to sit idly by and be quiet, and put our hands on our lap, and follow Miss Manners rules anymore. We\u2019re gonna get out there and do some guerrilla warfare.\u201dpic.twitter.com/BuXeulj5fR— Ron Filipkowski \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Ron Filipkowski \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6) 1653160334
So, last week, Yumi Nu was revealed as a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model. Nu is Asian American and curvy. This apparently drove some fools crazy, specifically Jordan Peterson, who tweeted, "Sorry. Not beautiful. And no amount of authoritarian tolerance is going to change that.” He’d responded to a photo of Nu looking beautiful, which visibly undercut his point. However, no one’s forcing Peterson to find Nu attractive. All so-called “authoritarian tolerance” demands is that people like Peterson recognize that they aren’t the sole arbiters of taste.
It’s not clear why Lake combined her fatphobia with transphobia in some twisted Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of bigotry. However, she’s not about to sit back and let curvy women exist in peace.
LAKE: It’s insane and we’re not going to play into it anymore. We’re not going to sit idly by and be quiet, and put our hands on our lap, and follow Miss Manners rules anymore. We’re gonna get out there and do some guerrilla warfare.
This is what Lake seems to think we must stand up against.
Yumi Nu 'shaking' over SI Swimsuit cover reveal https://trib.al/H9q8II1\u00a0pic.twitter.com/CQC3ELLW2F— New York Post (@New York Post) 1652721812
The MAGA life is so empty that even this inoffensive cover fuels their grievance fires. Miss Manners hasn’t really commented on swimsuit magazine etiquette, but even if she did, Lake won’t listen. She’s going full-out guerrilla warfare against human decency and basic respect for others.
LAKE: We’re gonna come out and vote. We’re coming out swinging. And we’re gonna save this country. We’re starting here in Arizona because Joe Biden is a nightmare. I’m glad to hear that Elon [Musk]'s not voting for him.
President Joe Biden has nothing to do with Sports Illustrated swimsuit covers. That’s not within his scope of work. Elon Musk is MAGA’s new “it” boy, but his mother, Maye, is actually one of the four cover models. (The others are Kim Kardashian and Ciara.)
We get it, though: A curvy woman of color doesn’t meet the fascist aesthetic. True art bears the graven image of the mad MAGA king, Donald Trump. Lake announced this weekend on social media that “when” she wins the governor’s race, she’ll hang this ugly-ass portrait of Trump in the executive’s office. She shouldn’t have a problem cramming most items on her domestic agenda into the first 100 days if they are all this pathetic.
Kari Lake announces she will be hanging this painting in the AZ Governor\u2019s Executive Office \u201cwhen we win.\u201dpic.twitter.com/ukTmNlda85— Ron Filipkowski \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Ron Filipkowski \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6) 1653267248
Lake is still the frontrunner for the GOP nomination because the party is a fascist dumpster fire. She has vowed to ban critical race theory and the teaching of sex education before fifth grade. If elected governor, she wouldn’t have much sway over who Sports Illustrated puts on its swimsuit covers, but she would take charge of the state’s elections. She might declare Trump the winner of Arizona’s electoral votes in 2024 before the polls even close.
Her campaign is an existential threat to democracy. We miss when we could just dunk on her for being an asshole.
Yr Wonkette is 100 percent ad-free and entirely supported by reader donations. That's you! Please click the clickie, if you are able.
Great Republican Idea: What If 2000 Rural CO Voters Got Twice As Many 'Votes' As 761,000 People In Denver?
The Electoral College so nice, they want to do it twice.
The state of Colorado has a problem, at least if you're a Republican seeking high office: In the past 50 years, the state has only elected one Republican as governor (Bill Owens, who served from 1999 to 2007). But one of the GOP candidates for governor this year, Greg Lopez, has a great idea that he thinks could fix that little difficulty, mostly by putting in place a kind of state electoral college, in which rural counties' voters would have far more power than voters in cities. Forget "one person, one vote," because it's far fairer if you don't count all votes equally.
Don't stare at us like that. It's not our idea, it's Lopez's.
You might also be unsurprised to know that Lopez, the former mayor of Parker, Colorado, thinks Donald Trump really won the 2020 election but had it stolen from him. Just because Democrats far outnumber Republicans statewide shouldn't mean they really represent Coloradans.
Yeah, You've Seen This Weirdo Before. And The Reporter Who Destroyed Him
You may remember Lopez from his insane evasions in an interview earlier this month with Denver TV journo Kyle Clark, in which Lopez refused to own up to his very funny homophobic joke about Gov. Jared Polis (D), who is gay. Lopez had said to a Republican crowd, “I think it’s time we had a real first lady, don’t you?” The crowd ate that up, because Polis is married to a dude, and isn't that just hilarious? Pressed to explain exactly what he'd meant by a "real first lady," Lopez told Clark he simply was talking about what a wonderful gal his wife is, you see? They've been married 34 years!
Clark wasn't having it, no thank you, and drily replied, "I think that there’s a chance that you think I and the folks watching are dumber than we are."
Who Needs Tyranny Of The Majority When Tyranny Of The Minority Is More Fun?
Now Clark is back with the lowdown on Lopez's state electoral college idea, which a "political tracker" recorded when Lopez outlined it during a May 15 campaign appearance. It's really the bestest idea, as long as you're willing to throw out the idea that every citizen's vote should count equally — and it should not, since that hasn't helped Republicans. We like the part where he openly says he supports "doing away with the popular vote" just right there in plain English. We've bolded it below so you won't miss it.
“One of the things that I’m going to do, and I’ve already put this plan together, is, as governor, I’m going to introduce a conversation about doing away with the popular vote for statewide elected officials and doing an electoral college vote for statewide elected officials,” Lopez said.
Lopez said his electoral college plan would weight counties’ votes based on their voter turnout percentage to encourage turnout.
“I’ve already got the plan in place,” Lopez said. “The most that any county can get is 11 electoral college votes. The least that a county can get is three.”
You can see the logic: Republicans keep losing the popular vote for president, but they sometimes win the Electoral College anyway, so clearly the electoral vote is fair and the popular vote has to be suspect.
Here's video from KUSA/KTVD, which explains exactly how extremely the scheme would skew voting in Colorado. "Cockamamie " doesn't even begin to describe it.
Lopez's campaign wouldn't agree to talk to the TV station about the plan unless Clark would agree to another sit-down interview with Lopez at his campaign headquarters. Gosh, considering the fact that Lopez became a national laughingstock after that earlier interview, we can only assume he and his campaign are masochists. (We kid. The homophobia and misogyny no doubt brought in all sorts of attention and money from rich GOP donors.)
Oh No, Not Math!
So instead, Clark and his team decided to approximate how the scheme might have worked in the 2018 election that put Polis in office. Using the rough criteria Lopez outlined, they distributed between three and 11 electoral votes per county based on county turnout in the governor's race. The rubric completely disregarded the population size of each county since Lopez said he's getting rid of undemocratic ideas like the "popular vote."
The results were pretty impressive. Instead of winning the 2018 election for governor by 10 points — the actual results — Polis would have been blown out of the water by Republican Walker Stapleton. In mere reality, Polis won 53.4 percent to Stapleton's 42.8 percent. But an electoral system like Lopez wants would have "swung that race for Republicans by nearly 30 percentage points, resulting in the equivalent of an 18 percentage point victory for Stapleton over Polis." Some details:
Colorado’s rural, conservative counties had seven of the 10 highest voter turnout percentages in the 2018 race for governor. Those counties had an average of 1,077 ballots cast in the election.
A 9NEWS analysis estimated that, under Lopez’s plan, Polis would have received 181 electoral votes to Stapleton’s 263.
And because Lopez's system would apparently include no weighting for population size, his electoral college would be even more lopsided than the federal one, which at least includes some consideration of state population by including states' House seats. The federal system still gives small states disproportionate power, but wowie, look at this hypothetical outcome in Colorado. We've added boldface to emphasize the population disparities:
Lopez’s weighting system would have given the 2,013 combined voters in Hinsdale, Kiowa and Mineral counties a total of 33 electoral votes, more than double the 14 electoral votes of Denver, Arapahoe and Adams counties’ combined 761,873 voters.
Well that seems fair. You want a little more representation, Denver, you'll have to improve your voter turnout so maybe someday you'll have equal political power to a county with 3,000 voters.
'One Person, One Vote' Is Not Even In The Bible
At that May 15 campaign appearance, Lopez explains why this scheme would be waaaaay better than merely letting the tyrannical depraved liberal majority in urban areas have their votes count equally to those of the God-fearing voters in rural areas:
“It’s not about one-person, one-vote. It’s about true representation.”
As we keep saying, this is what you get when you subscribe to the most extreme versions of the John Birch Society's insistence that America isn't a democracy, it's a republic: Not only is democracy bad, anything that even allows too much majority influence is bad, too, so to truly avoid what the Founders feared was "the tyranny of the majority," it's probably best to let numerical minorities engineer the system to keep themselves in power. Representation is all fine and well, but the less it's tainted by democracy, the better for the Republic.
Happily, U of Denver political science prof Sara Chatfield told Clark in an interview that in the extremely unlikely event Lopez could become governor and persuade voters to pass it as a constitutional amendment, it's so glaringly unconstitutional that it wouldn't stand a chance in court. And wouldn't you know it, the case that established one person, one vote as the standard came out of an earlier attempt to disenfranchise minorities!
Chafield pointed to the 1964 Supreme Court decision in Reynolds v. Sims striking down Alabama’s plan to give one state Senate seat to each county.
“The Supreme Court struck that down on the principle of one-person, one-vote. So I think that case, although it’s a little different, demonstrates that just because something is in the U.S. Constitution doesn’t mean it’s actually democratic or constitutional at the state level,” Chatfield said.
Mind you, while it's an entirely hypothetical notion for Colorado, we can see a smaller, already red state like Idaho doing it just to make sure scary urban liberal coastal elites in Boise don't get too much power in the state Lege.
This Guy's FULL Of Bad Ideas!
Lopez's campaign website says nothing about this state electoral college idea, although its
"issues" page does promise Lopez would issue an executive order that would effectively end automatic voter registration. The site explains it's actually a vital moral issue, because "It is wrong for the state government to force a citizen to register to vote; that is an individual choice that should not be imposed by the government." His ideas on choices are flexible; Lopez is fine with banning abortion with no exceptions, not even for the life or health of the pregnant person.
Also, in that earlier interview with Clark, Lopez explained he wants to end Colorado's statewide vote-by-mail system, because voting is too easy and people should show their commitment to citizenship by standing in line. Here's the video, cued up to that bit of brilliance:
It's about making sure people feel they're providing their civic duty, that they're standing in line because they're proud Americans. A lot of people fought for the right to stand in line! You know, we stand in line for concerts, we stand in line for baseball games and football games. Why can't we stand in line to vote? We don't ask people to do this every week, we ask them to do it every two years.
Lopez said he believed that when voting is more inconvenient, people will actually be better informed about the issues, somehow. He also doesn't buy the idea that standing in line could be a burden for people who don't have a lot of time to stand in line, because "where there's a will, there's a way," and people will obviously just have to make the time if they want to exercise their franchise. Indeed, he explained, if more people had to stand in line to vote, it would "send a message to future generations that this is our civic duty."
After all, Martin Luther King simply wanted the right to vote. He never fought for voting to be easy, and indeed, maybe the best way to honor his dream is to make sure people get clubbed and hit with firehoses before they can vote. That can be their way to prove their willingness to have some skin — and hair, blood, bone fragments, and bits of brain matter — in the game.
Yr Wonkette is funded entirely by reader donations. If you can, please give $5 or $10 a month to help us keep you informed. And all donors are equal! We won't even limit how often you can comment by how much you give! (Hey, Rebecca, I have a great idea...)
Genocide is painless.
Once upon a time, when speaking to the United Negro College Fund, former Vice President Dan Quayle commented upon their slogan "A mind is a terrible thing to waste," and adding, "What a waste it is to lose one's mind, or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." There are few people who exemplify the true spirit of that speech like Kandiss Taylor, the "Jesus Guns Babies" lady hoping to be the next governor of Georgia — whom you may recall from the time she announced her plans to take down the "Luciferian Cabal" by destroying the Georgia Guidestones.
During a recent campaign stop, Taylor shared some of her thoughts on American history, the Constitution and the founding of our nation that were somehow entirely serious and earnest.
Georgia Republican gubernatorial candidate Kandiss Taylor said \u201cour founding fathers\u201d came to \u201cdestroy American Indians\u2019 homes and their land\u201d to secure \u201cour right to worship Jesus freely.\u201dpic.twitter.com/DxS8HPij6w— PatriotTakes \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 (@PatriotTakes \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8) 1652975441
"The First Amendment right, which is our right to worship Jesus freely, that’s how we have a country," Taylor explained. "That’s how we have Georgia. That’s how we have – our founding fathers came over here and destroyed American Indians’ homes and their land. They took it. Look at what they went through, the Native Americans, for sacrifice. For us to have the freedom we have today."
Oh Kandiss, where do we even begin? How do we begin? With the general inaccuracy of it all or with the very idea of presenting the slaughter and genocide of indigenous people and their homes as a beautiful sacrifice they made so that Kandiss Taylor could "worship Jesus freely," a thing one can also do in England, by the way. How does anyone even come up with that? Is that what they taught at Pat Robertson’s Regent University?
It's just the most incredible display of pure narcissism — for someone to not only view the genocide of indigenous people as a positive righteous thing, but to see their deaths as them sacrificing their lives so that they could have the freedom to "worship Jesus." That's brutal. And it's not even entirely clear that it's their sacrifice she was speaking of. She could also have been suggesting that the Founding Fathers were the ones who had to sacrifice, by murdering over nine and a half million people, which is an equally horrific take.
Thus, it's not surprising that Kandiss has some very strong opinions on what should be taught in schools — where she can safely assume that children are not in fact learning that the genocide of millions of indigenous people was a beautiful sacrifice so that they could all worship Jesus.
\u201cI promise you, no matter how woke they are, they\u2019ll shut up. They have mortgages and car payments.\u201d\n\nGeorgia Republican gubernatorial candidate Kandiss Taylor is planning to go after teacher certificates if she disagrees with what they are teaching.pic.twitter.com/kfjjP3BTB9— PatriotTakes \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8 (@PatriotTakes \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8) 1652980869
“Communism, perversion, and oppression is being taught to our children. It’s unethical. And it needs to be handled in the code of ethics for teachers and their certificates." she said, adding, “I promise you, no make how woke they are, they’ll shut up. They have mortgages and car payments. We don't have to fix it with legislation. I love you, we're gonna vote May 24th, we're going to win."
Now, she's probably not going to win, at least not this particular race where Governor Brian Kemp has a substantial lead over challenger David Perdue and she's only being factored into the polls as "other," but given the way things have been going with the GOP lately, it would not be surprising for her to win a seat in the House or some other office in the near future.
Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!
Thoughts and prayers.
Madison Cawthorn is taking his sad and embarrassing loss well.
He posted this on Instagram yesterday, along with a graphical list of all the people he still likes. Your name on his list? You're cool. You're not? Then you are CAWTHORN CANCELED.
Here's the Insta post, embedded here assuming it hasn't been taken down because the team at Insta finds it too sad and embarrassing.
Golly, that is a who's who of literally all the worst anti-American garbage that exists in this country. Kind of breathtaking, really.
And here's that text:
When the establishment turned their guns on me, when the Uni-party coalesced to defeat an America First member very few people had my back.
If you don't know who or what a "Uni-party" is, maybe because you have friends and a life, click here. We had to look it up. It's some Steve Bannon phrase, so you can imagine.
This list includes the lion share
of figures that came to my defense when it was not politically profitable. These are honorable men and women who are the type of friends anyone yearns to have.
Yes, "anyone" yearns to be friends with Marjorie Taylor Greene and that fucking Nazi grandmother in Arizona and, um, "the great Charlie Kirk," who looks like Beavis if the cartoonist's hand was broken that day.
“At the beginning of a change the patriot is a rare and hated man.”
That's not the Mark Twain quote but OK.
These are those rare and hated men/women.
You bet. Those addlefucked brain wizards up there are the revolutionaries. Each one having been birthed out of the matted hair forests of Steve Bannon's white nationalist buffalo grundle, so saith the legend.
There are other National figures who I believe are patriots, but I am on a mission now to expose those who say and promise one thing yet legislate and work towards another, self-profiteering, globalist goal.
So you're going to say who goes to the cokeboner orgies? That's really all anybody wants to know.
The time for genteel politics as usual has come to an end.
It's funny because originally he wrote "gentile" and everybody was LOL-ing. Because first of all, we're betting a lot of the people on that list above were not consulted about the "time for gentile politics as usual" coming to an end.
It’s time for the rise of the new right, it’s time for Dark MAGA to truly take command.
These would be really funny opening lines for a video game Madison and his cousin might enjoy playin' once they're done rough-housin'.
We have an enemy to defeat, but we will never be able to defeat them until we defeat the cowardly and weak members of our own party. Their days are numbered. We are coming.
Uh oh, y'all! He's a superhero now! Which superhero? He's, um, he's Dark MAGA!
Oh yes, it's some bizarre movement gaining steam online that sounds pretty white supremacist and Nazi, and it does memes in support of Donald Trump coming back from all his losses to vanquish everybody who ever made fun of him ever. It's a pretty textbook revenge fantasy, which is to be expected, considering. Hey, maybe it's the next stage in these people's conversion to being literally nothing more than a terrorist movement.
Guess we'll just have to see!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here!
Wonkette is funded ENTIRELY by a few thousand people like you. If you're not already, would you pls consider being the few thousandth and one?