Crime

Judge Not Sure If Men Kyle Rittenhouse Shot Are Victims Or Satisfied Bullet Recipients

We’re afraid he’s gonna moonwalk out of this courtroom.

Judge Bruce Schroeder, who's presiding over Kyle Rittenhouse's double murder case, set some ground rules on how lawyers can refer to the men Rittenhouse forcibly evicted from existence last summer. After the prosecution and defense made their last-minute motions, Judge Schroeder ruled that no one can refer to the three men Rittenhouse shot as “victims."

From ABC 7 Chicago:

"The word 'victim' is a loaded, loaded word," he said. "'Alleged victim' is a cousin to it."

“Victim" isn't a loaded word. What's loaded was the assault-style rifle he used to shoot three people. “Alleged victim" is literally the point of the trial. Rittenhouse is alleged to have committed first-degree intentional homicide, first-degree reckless homicide, and attempted first-degree intentional reckless homicide. (He's also charged with violating the city's temporary 7 p.m. curfew.) These charges, excluding the curfew violation, require victims, human beings who'd still be alive and/or unmaimed today if not for Rittenhouse.

So, how can the prosecution and defense refer to the people Rittenhouse mowed down like dogs? Judge Schroeder is fine with rioters, looters, and arsonists. Those descriptors apparently have no negative connotations. They probably turn up all the time in marriage vows.

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National Politics

John Eastman, Coup-Plotting Lunatic, Almost Time For Your Subpoena!

Come for the headline, stay for the hidden camera action.

You write one measly coup memo detailing how an absolute fucking loser can steal an election he didn't win (because America loathes him and didn't vote for him), you get a subpoena from Congress? Unfair!

But that's reportedly about to happen for John Eastman, coup-plotting galaxy brain.

The House select committee investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol is expected to subpoena John Eastman, the pro-Trump legal scholar who outlined scenarios for denying Joe Biden the presidency, according to the panel's chairman.

"It will happen," Chair Bennie G. Thompson (D-Miss.) said in an interview Tuesday of a subpoena for Eastman, who played a key role in the legal operation that was run out of a "command center" at the Willard Hotel in Washington in the days and hours leading up to Jan. 6. Thompson did not provide a timeline for when the subpoena will be issued.

The Washington Post reports that they are at the "documents and communications" stage with Eastman, and also notes that Eastman could of course avoid the unpleasantness of a subpoena if he just cooperated with the committee. But then he'd have to act like a law-abiding grown-up, which isn't really the MAGA way.

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News

Outrageous Things That People Have Tried To Sell Online! Tabs, Wed., Oct. 27, 2021

I'd buy that for a dollar! It's tabs!

Trigger warning for WHAAAAAAT??????

Motion by Claudette Colvin, 82, to expunge her juvenile record of ... refusing to stand up for a white girl on the bus in 1955, for which she is still on probation. (Motion)

Merrick Garland does not seem to be doing his job in investigating those who plotted the January 6 coup (Elie Mystal at The Nation). Meanwhile, threats to elections officials are getting worse. (CNN)

Hey, you know how we couldn't get rid of private insurance with Obamacare because it was too heavily enmeshed throughout the economy? We really shouldn't stand up a paid leave program from scratch if we're going to just make it private insurers, that's dumb stupid and bullshit. (People's Policy Project)

As a pay-for for Build Back Better, Elizabeth Warren's 15 percent minimum tax on corporations with more than $1 billion in profits heart-hug-emoji. (Warren Senate)

More on what happened on the set of Rust, when Alec Baldwin shot and killed the cinematographer, Halyna Hutchins. There had already been prop gun injuries, and the assistant director who gave Baldwin the gun has been fired before for prop gun injuries on a different movie. Meanwhile, the camera crew had just walked out over unfair labor practices on the set. Baldwin is a producer. There sure does seem to be a lot going on. — LA Times

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Conspiracy theories

MyPillow Guy Has Very Exciting Thanksgiving Prophecy To Share!

Steve Bannon seems pretty stoked.

Steve Bannon, he is this guy who is made of matted rodent hair, and he's been referred to the Justice Department for contempt of Congress for failing to cooperate with the January 6 committee.

But he's got time to have the MyPillow guy on his show to talk about overturning the election their favorite loser lost. Yes, still, even after all Mike Lindell's prophecies have failed to come true, these people are still working their grift, and now Lindell says the Supreme Court is going to do the thing with the election on Thanksgiving week.

But listen, because it's even more than that. On a recent episode of the Steve Bannon podcast, Lindell announced that on his weird Frank website, he will be doing a MANY DAY Thanksgiving telecast, of all the proof the election was stolen from Dear Leader Trump. And Steve Bannon says for this Lindell is a "genius" and that there are going to be "fistfights" at all the dinner tables, because of the wonders the MyPillow guy has revealed.

You betcha.

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