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RNC Just Wants To Affirm That Anti-Slavery 'Modern Constitution' Is NOT What the Slave-Owning Founding Fathers Had In Mind

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Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has noted that famous historical Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall correctly wrote that the Original Constitution expressly denied the "individual freedoms and human rights" of slaves and women, and that it took -- as Marshall wrote -- "several amendments, a civil war, and momentous social transformation to attain the system of constitutional government." The Republican National Committee's official Jar Jar Binks, non-stop comic sensation and actual black person Michael Steele,attacked this radical stance because come on, everybody knows the *real* Constitution didn't let blacks vote for a reason: Black people are supposed to be slaves, and they count as 3/5ths of a human strictly for the purposes of allocating congressional districts. But now the RNC has "clarified" its position on slavery.


Here's what some RNC troll wrote on the Republicans' official website, just to make sure everybody understands the underlying issue:

Elena Kagan’s endorsement of this empathy standard has been rejected by the American people.

Uhh, sure, rejected by the Confederacy and its slaveholders, at the very least. Care to try one more time, RNC troll Doug Heye?

The majority of Americans want a justice who understands that the Founders intended the Court to serve as a neutral arbiter of disputes. The question for Kagan is whether she believes in a ‘modern Constitution’ shaped by activist judges pursuing personal political agendas or whether she believes in basing judicial decisions based on the Constitution and the rule of law. That was the point Chairman Steele raised and that is the issue Kagan must address in this confirmation process.

EXACTLY. Answer now, Elena Kagan: Do you actually stand by the False Constitution as it stands today, with its "empathy" for slaves and votes for "women," or are you prepared to sack up and support the TRUE Constitution as our Founders intended, before they went back home to their plantations to fuck their slaves? [RNC]

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FINALLY. Of course, we say "finally," because we haven't been behind the scenes in the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees to witness the negotiating and wrangling firsthand, so we don't know what it's taken to make this happen, but clear your calendars for July 17, because Bobby Mueller is goin' to Congress!

Committee chairs Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler sent the letter late yesterday, accompanied by a subpoena, for Mueller to testify at 9 a.m. Eastern on July 17, which is a Wednesday, so you will presumably not be busy with brunch. The hearings for each committee will be back to back, after which members of Mueller's staff will meet with committee staff behind closed doors.

Schiff told Rachel Maddow last night that it should not be viewed as a friendly subpoena, because as we all know, Mueller has been very reluctant to become the star of the political circus this will surely create. However, he's gonna have to suck it up, because as we all saw after what happened when Mueller addressed the nation for 10 whole minutes, there is great value in actually having Mueller breathe life into his own work, for an American audience that hasn't read his 448-page report. (And we don't blame them/you! We probably wouldn't have read it all if it wasn't our job. It would probably be on our "list," like "someday I am going to watch 'The Sopranos' start to finish finally. And then I will read the Mueller Report!")

Point is, it needs to happen on live TV, where people can gather around at work and on the train and in the Fantastic Sams while they gets their hair did, and let this highly respected public servant tell the story of how America's most hostile enemy attacked the 2016 election in order to help Donald Trump, how the Trump campaign was positively orgasmic over that reacharound, and how Trump criminally obstructed the investigation into that hostile foreign attack at every turn.

And because Robert Mueller is a patriotic American who respects the rule of law and our institutions, he will be complying with the subpoena, because of fucking course he will.

Right off the bat, we have a couple of questions:

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Beds at the 'temporary' shelter in Homestead, Florida. US HHS photo.

The House of Representatives passed a $4.5 billion emergency bill to fund detention of undocumented immigrants and asylum seekers yesterday, but the bill's demands that government meet minimal standards of humane treatment led Donald Trump to threaten a veto, because no one puts cruelty in a corner. The bill passed largely along party lines, 230-195, with four progressive Democratic first-term representatives opposing it because they believed the machinery of the New Cruelty shouldn't get a single dollar more. Trump prefers a bill already passed by the Senate, which would provide a similar level of funding $4.6 billion), but lacks the House bill's crazy radical requirements that migrants be held in less horrifying conditions than have been reported in the last week.

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