RNC To Replace Michael Steele With Even More Hilarious Sarah Palin?
From the perspective of your Wonkette, Michael Steele has been anextremely effective RNC chair, as he has supplied us with a near-endless stream of mockable things to write posts about. But those who actually care about the health of the Republican Party are starting to question how well he's actually doing his job (getting Republicans elected, raising money in the service of getting Republicans elected, not actively embarrassing the Republican Party, and so forth). That's why a whisper campaign has begun about a better candidate for this important task ... a universally beloved team player who works hard and succeeds at whatever she does. YES OBVIOUSLY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT SARAH PALIN PLEASE GOD LET THIS HAPPEN OH IT WILL BE SO AWESOME WE CANNOT STAND IT.
Michael Steele's latest troubles came because he committed the worst sin a Republican can commit, by not wanting people to be killed in wars all the time. According to CBS, the trusted news source that brought you Everybody Loves Raymond, this is much worse than his usual lesbian bondage club antics, and now there's "talk in GOP circles" that the new RNC chair should be everyone's favorite quitter Sarah Palin. Why would anyone conceive of such a thing? CBS News Senior White House Correspondent Bill Plante, who apparently has "inside sources" thanks to his shoe-leather reporting skills, says that our snowbilly grifter is "the star of the Republican Party. She's the top endorser, top fundraiser -- and now could be the party's top dog." It is true that the main job of the RNC chair is to raise money, and lord knows Sarah Palin is good at "raising" huge gobs of cash, for her own personal use. But it is also the job of the RNC chair to not make a continual spectacle and object of fun of him- or herself, so, you know, there's that.
So who could these idiots in "GOP circles" be? Our bet, based on absolutely zero inside information of any sort, is that one is Bill Kristol, who always been in love with Sarah Palin, always, and who is one of the most prominent people to call on Steele to resign in the wake of the recent unpleasantness. America will submit to Kristol's Palin-love, one way or another, do you understand? It will.
On the other hand, reporters from the Washington Post, a publication that has not once produced a successful CSI spinoff, believe that Michael Steele will keep his job, at least until his term is up, after the November elections, because removing him would be controversial and distracting, even though having him in charge means that the Republicans will not do as well as they could have in the midterms. Anyway, most big GOP donors have already written Steele off and now give their cash to other groups, like the Haley Barbour-headed Republican Governors Association. (Rich Republicans trust a fat, well-connected, avuncular southerner with their money more than a mouthy black man -- who could have guessed?)